Is Anger Getting in the Way?

Is Anger Getting in the Way?

Many years ago I decided to try therapy because I was dealing with depression due to the break-up of a long-term relationship. My therapist having known that I felt down for an extended period said “you may feel depressed, but chances are you’re just really angry.” She went on to explain that depression and anger are closely tied together. Although depression can be a clinical diagnosis that requires professional care, it may also be caused by unexpressed anger or resentment towards somebody or something.

She was right, I had been building up resentment towards life for shattering my dreams, killing the storybook ending, and putting out my fire. I had let it build up with no way of expressing it or letting it out which led to a deep emotional pain.

I have since learned that there are healthy ways to express anger so that it doesn’t stew or lead to ongoing feelings of paralysis.

We all have troubling times and our emotions may range from discouragement to depression, or from frustration to feeling so angry that we lash out at those we love or get physically violent.

If you’ve been consistent with your spiritual practice, chances are these episodes will happen less or perhaps not as intense as they once were. But the truth is, life can be a rollercoaster and we have no choice but to go on the ride. It is how we deal with and sit through that ride that creates our life experience.

Studies have shown that ongoing, unresolved anger may lead to certain diseases such as heart attack, stroke, or cancer. There is a powerful link between stressful emotions and our physical health. But the good news is that it’s not too late to do something proactive especially if you’ve been dealing with *extreme anxiety, depression, or anger.

Sometimes when we’re in this state, we don’t feel like doing anything at all. But if you can muster up the energy, here are some helpful actions that you can take to go deeper and uncover these heavy emotions once and for all. When we can gain an understanding and become conscious of their existence, we come to realize that underneath all of it is our natural state of joy, bliss, relaxation, balance, unconditional love, and gratitude.

Exercise – One of the best ways to expel anger is to push yourself through an exercise routine. Running or cardio training is particularly effective at clearing the mind and eliminating negative self-talk. Exercise of any type releases feel-good endorphins and helps us to feel better.

Punch a Pillow – Sometimes anger needs to be expressed and we don’t always have an outlet. The best way to let out the built up tension is by punching a pillow over and over again while screaming at the top of your lungs. What may seem extreme at first, you’ll find will dissipate the anger leaving you feeling more relaxed and calm afterwards.

Breath Practice – I teach both group class and one-on-one transformational breath sessions and along with the breath work, we always let out a few screams during each session too. Deep breathing is the quickest and most effective way to access stifled emotions and pain. It opens the channels for you to heal on all levels of body, mind, and spirit and makes way to feelings of euphoria and bliss.

Meditation – Sometimes meditation can feel agonizing for those suffering from depression or anger because our mind and ego gets in the way. With practice, we can learn to de-clutter our minds and release pent up emotions. Combining breath work with meditation is the ideal combination.

Yoga – Yoga is the perfect mix of physical activity and mindfulness. Find a class that resonates with you and one that you enjoy. Like any spiritual practice, yoga will help to uncover blocks, fears, and unresolved emotion that may have been lingering for years.

Karate – Another great physical activity that helps to release anger is Karate. The combination of physical force and mental focus gets you out of your head and into your center, the core of who you are.

Boxing – While I am not a huge advocate of fighting, a healthy boxing practice, even solo with a bag is an awesome way to expel built up emotion along with giving you a great workout.

Dancing – Movement of any kind often helps with anger. Dancing to your favorite music playing loudly in the background may be just the thing you’ve been needing. Lose yourself in the music and dance like nobody is watching. Research a group called Ecstatic Dance in your area or plan a night out with friends.

Remove Yourself – Sometimes we will need to make physical changes such as leaving an abusive relationship with somebody who pisses us off regularly.  Or perhaps seeking out a new job that has a more positive environment may be just the thing you need to do. Know that you are never stuck in a situation and that forward movement is possible. You just need to take the first steps.

*Make sure to speak with your doctor if you’ve been experiencing ongoing feelings of extreme depression, anger, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Laugh Out Loud – It May Improve Your Health

Laugh Out Loud – It May Improve Your Health

Laughter may truly be the best medicine. Life for many of us has gotten so serious and along with that comes less time to laugh, have fun, and enjoy life.

Dr. Norman Cousins who wrote “An Anatomy of an Illness” was one of the first to recognize the power of laughter in our own healing journey. He proved that as little as 10 minutes of laughter per day can impact your health and your life in dramatic ways.

Since that time, laughing has been shown in numerous studies worldwide to lower the stress hormone called cortisol, and to increase endorphins leading to an instant shift into a more positive state of mind. Laughing may also increase cognitive function in seniors and reduce pain as well.

Just as stress can build up in our bodies and eventually lead to potential disease, laughter may offset that. It acts as a stress reliever and natural anti-inflammatory.

Finding time each day to play, laugh, and socialize has become more important than ever in this isolating world of social media. People aren’t connecting as we once did and more and more, loneliness has set in along with less authentic laugh out loud moments.

if you’re feeling too blue to chuckle, force yourself. Even a fake laugh has been shown to lift the mood and transform your mindset. When you’re down in the dumps, try a phony, exaggerated Hollywood laugh and see what happens.

Just like implementing a daily exercise routine, regular family time, and a spiritual practice, make sure to schedule fun outings, group activities, and time to watch humorous videos. Hey, even playing a practical joke on a co-worker could be just the thing to improve your overall health.

Don’t underestimate the power of what cannot be seen. On a deeper level, laughter is literally healing your body and lowering some of the inflammation markers that have been linked to long-term disease.

Lol has a whole new meaning and has gone from being an overused acronym, to a life-improving verb!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach and Transformational Breath Healer Living in Los Angeles http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

What IF This is as Good as it Gets?

What IF This is as Good as it Gets?

I am ALL for being optimistic and thinking positive. I believe that we can to some degree, create our destiny using affirmations, a focused mindset, and the power of intention. But if you’ve tried to implement the law of attraction you may have found that things don’t always go as planned.

Sometimes life can take us in a totally different direction than we wanted, and often, it ends up being exactly what we need.

Lately, the message that keeps coming to me is “what if this is as good as it gets?” What if our life doesn’t improve from where it is today? How would we feel if that miracle job, relationship, or adventure didn’t happen at all? I don’t mean to revert to a negative or pessimistic attitude but rather, I’d like to create a new way of living and thinking, one that brings us back into this moment. The ONLY moment we have.

When we spend time wanting, desiring, needing, and day dreaming about things to come, we totally miss what is directly in front of us. And even if the current situation is challenging, we can learn to find within that moment, truth, growth, pain, acceptance, and perhaps even more love and gratitude than we ever thought possible.

We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have dreams and I am not suggesting that we ditch those fantasies because in many ways, they are what sustain us. An underlying faith that life will get better keeps us from sinking too low when times are tough.

But there is a certain amount of surrender that needs to take place once we’ve set intentions for something new to come. We can learn to envision it, feel it’s presence and then gently let it go with a deep knowing that it will show up…or perhaps something better. And by better, I don’t necessarily mean what appears positive to those looking on. Better may mean something that trumps the fancy car, ideal mate, or windfall. It may just be the thing that we need to help us grow in a totally new direction.

What if this is as good as it gets? Would you be okay with that? Would you be able to dig deep and find love, joy, appreciation, and satisfaction in what may seem boring, monotonous, or disappointing? Being present, accepting what is, and squeezing every bit of juice out of our day-to-day experience may be the key to living a full and rich life.

Chances are very good that your life WILL improve and that many of your dreams will come true. But just for today, why not live as if this is as good as it gets and see what comes of it. I have a feeling it may open you up to a whole new depth of richness and beauty in even the most mundane of experiences.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living In Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!