The Voice Of The Bully – Are YOU Your Worst Critic?

The Voice Of The Bully – Are YOU Your Worst Critic?

Most of us have been bullied. It often happens during our adolescent and teenage years and can take form in both verbal and physical abuse. I was bullied from kindergarten all the way through high school so I can certainly relate all too well.

The tormentor that I want to bring light to today is that of our inner bully. The voice of sabotage, put downs, and painful, recurring messages that we direct toward ourselves.

Ironically, we learn early on from other bullies, one of two things; To either accept their cruelty as truth, or if we have enough strength and self-respect from a young age, to repel their destructive messages. Unfortunately, many of us take these mean and degrading words to heart and we begin to use them as weapons against ourselves.

Constant abuse of any kind can eventually play with our minds and cause us to go into a downward spiral of negative, habitual self-talk. Even with plenty of positive tapes playing in the background, the frequent, underlying message is that “we are not enough.”

So how do we stop the influence of our bully, making way for more happiness, success, and self-esteem?

  • Recognize The Voice– Become clear that there is, in fact, a voice that is getting in the way. Begin to see patterns in your thoughts, actions, and inner dialogue that makes you feel bad. Listen to those voices but don’t buy into them. Start to recognize how you bully yourself and put yourself down on an ongoing basis.
  • Don’t Believe it– The next step is to STOP believing these messages. The routine we have fallen into is a toxic pattern of self-abuse and it has to stop! Begin separating yourself from the negativity and understand that it isn’t the voice of truth or reason. It is simply negative programming.
  • Befriend The Bully– Make friends with the bully. Hear what they have to say. Get sensible and send the tyrant gentleness. Like all bullies in our life, all they really need is recognition and love. What we resist, persists. What we love and forgive, dissipates.
  • Practice Feeling– Pay close attention to how you feel. What thoughts and words empower and energize you? Which ones drain you and make you feel tired or sad? Eventually, with a little practice, you WILL be able to create a new pattern of positivity, self-love, and becoming your own best friend and support system.
  • Spend Time Being Confident – Extend more energy doing those things that make you feel confident. If you constantly push yourself into areas that make you anxious and insecure, it’s fine to a point because it causes you to grow, but make sure that you are also doing many things that you’re great at! Somebody with low self-worth tends to continue patterns that emphasize their feelings of lack. Shift gears, you ARE amazing at many things! Start doing them more often.
  • Re-Charge– Continually re-charge your emotional and spiritual batteries. Create a daily practice that keeps you plugged in. Pray, meditate, journal, do yoga, read uplifting books, sing, get creative, and do whatever it takes to keep you balanced and open-hearted. With consistency, you will keep your batteries from becoming dangerously low and therefore avoiding the fall back into old patterns.

From somebody who has lived most of my life feeling unworthy due to early programming, I can tell you that THERE IS HOPE! It will take some consistent effort on your part but if you keep on, keeping on, you will most definitely make positive strides in the direction of regaining your natural state…that of confidence, self-love, worthiness, and a knowing that you are enough just as you are!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

I am nearing 50 in a matter of months, the time when many people go through a midlife crisis.  Depending upon how long we live, it may occur earlier or later, and for many, we have numerous so-called crisis in our life.

A crisis would be defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger” or “a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.”

I have definitely experienced some major shifts over the past couple of years and much of what I placed importance on no longer has meaning. It has left me questioning everything that I had been working towards in the past. The term crisis may be a bit dramatic, but I for one, most definitely feel an important and life-affirming shift.

If you see things like I do, then you realize that life as we know it, involves constant expansion and growth and the very reason we are here, is to evolve as spiritual beings having this human experience. Therefore, we begin to understand that there is no such thing as crisis. Instead, I now make a declaration for everybody out there who is feeling the effects of such a challenging chapter in their own life, to rename it “Midlife Un-Crisis!”

What are the signs that we may be in such an “Un-Crisis?”

  • Lack of clarity, motivation, or passion for life
  • Feelings of powerlessness or depression
  • Questioning where you want to go from here
  • Wondering why you feel unhappy, stuck, or complacent
  • Recognizing negative, habitual ways of being but not knowing how to move through them
  • Noticing what once made you happy in the past i.e. shopping, eating, sex, or addictive behaviors no longer fulfill you
  • Discovering that what once worked to get you ahead, no longer does
  • You choose happiness over success, money, or accolades

Here is the good news! This doesn’t mean that life is over or that you should give up. It is just the opposite. It’s reflecting back to you, that THE BEST TIMES are yet to come and that all you need to do is make space. This is a time when you don’t need outside stimulus to make you feel alive, when you can actually accomplish more with less striving, and a time when you can allow more joy, fulfillment, and ease into your experience without being so attached to outcome.

It’s the perfect time to Un-Do, Un-Wind, and Un-Tether all those things that no longer serve you. A time to let go of the parts of yourself that you’ve outgrown and moved beyond. Laying just around the corner is something far more valuable and authentic.

It’s okay to question your direction. It is fine to wonder where the heck you’re going and why you’re here. But when we can begin seeing this as a strength and not a weakness, that is where our true power lies.

There may be a midlife questioning about your career or the marriage that you committed to but if you can just love yourself through all of it and learn to be gentle, forgiving, and accepting towards all that is, and stop making yourself wrong for these feelings, then you will soon realize that we really have nothing to fear.

Yes, the inevitable is coming, we are going to die at some point. Many of us fear that more than anything else. Sometimes these painful spots we find ourselves in are derived from that deep-rooted truth we want to avoid, especially as we reach mid-life.

If you can dig deep, do the emotional and spiritual work necessary to get you through to the other side, you’ll begin to see that these times of crisis really are our best teachers and that nothing lasts forever. If we can be patient and loving all while committed to moving through whatever we are dealing with, we will realize that we are having a Midlife Un-Crisis because more is being asked of us, because we are meant to be channels of light for others and because our life is calling for us to become beacons of inspiration, and love.

Don’t give up. Stick with it and begin to unravel why you’re feeling paralyzed, apathetic, or blue. Look for clues. Allow clarity with the help of healers, books, retreats, videos, and a spiritual practice, and you will begin to see that brighter days and a new chapter worth living are just around the corner. If you’re approaching mid-life like I am, the second half really can be your happiest, most fulfilling, and rewarding if you can just ride the wave and have faith.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

A Miracle Created By Bees     

A Miracle Created By Bees     

We have all tried various forms of honey from New Zealand Manuka to Lavender and Buckwheat and many of us know the powerful healing properties of this delicious wonder from nature.

But there is something even more amazing and nutrient rich, it is the waxy, sticky substance that holds the bee hive together, known as Propolis.

Propolis has proven antibiotic and antiseptic properties and may also have antiviral and anti-inflammatory effects. It has become popular both topically and used internally for everything from colds, herpes, burns, canker sores, various infections, acne, arthritis, and even to boost the immunity in order to fight cancer cells.

This miracle substance is a mixture of beeswax and various secretions created from the poplar and cone-bearing trees visited by the bees. Propolis has been shown to fight bacteria, fungus, and viruses and can be purchased in various forms such as supplement, spray, cream, and combined with honey.

Part of the immune-boosting properties come from the high amino acid content within Propolis along with Vitamins C, E, and B1, B2, and B6. Propolis also contains powerful polyphenols and minerals.

When it comes to lesions, genital herpes, cold sores, or anything topical, try a 3% Propolis ointment 3-4 times per day on the affected area. For immune-boosting properties, consider a Propolis supplement of 1000 mg per day. 

  • Be cautious if you have an allergy to bee products such as honey, pollen, or certain trees and always consult with your physician if you are pregnant or on blood-thinning medications before taking Propolis.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Heal All Areas of Your Life With Ho’Oponopono

Heal All Areas of Your Life With Ho’Oponopono

Ho’Oponopono is a Hawaiian healing technique based upon love and forgiveness. Loosely translated, it means “correction” and the basis of this practice is to take full responsibility for everything and everyone in your life.

The method involves repeating four phrases over and over again either out loud or to yourself. “I Love You,” I’m Sorry,” Please Forgive Me,” and “Thank You.”

The first phrase is about repentance, next forgiveness, then gratitude and finally love. By sending Ho’Oponopono to a person, object, or emotion, for example, we learn to take full responsibility for its presence in our life and we gently let it go by first acknowledging our part in the situation or event, and then releasing it through love and appreciation.

I use Ho’Oponopono in my transformational breath sessions because it is the most powerful way that I know to release heavy or toxic emotions, energy, and resentment. At the end of each class, I have the participants send these four healing phrases to themselves in present day, their inner child, parents and anyone else that they feel needs their love and forgiveness. I always say that it’s often the people we least want to forgive, that we need to forgive the most.

You can try the practice while reading this article. Take a moment now and think about somebody or something in your life that you resent, detest, or have undesirable emotions towards. It can be a person or situation. Since everything is made up of energy, even sending Ho’oponopono to money, an ailing organ, or a family event will work. Picture that person or thing and gently repeat to yourself “I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You.” Then, see how you feel. Most likely, you’ll immediately be lighter, more open, and relaxed. Continue to repeat the phrases until any negative or heavy feelings have dissipated.

When we learn to take full responsibility for our part in any situation, understanding that it always takes two to tango, we evolve and grow into stronger, more enlightened, and happier human beings. In essence, you’re saying “I’m sorry for my part in this” and “Please forgive me for whatever role I played in the situation.” It also takes us from victim to victor.

Practice using this amazing healing technique in your day to day life. In fact, commit to trying it for one week on everything that feels out of alignment and see what happens. Chances are you’ll begin to notice some very significant shifts in all areas of your life!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Surrender – The Ultimate Test of Faith

Surrender – The Ultimate Test of Faith

Many of us have read self-help books that talk about surrendering and letting go as a way of de-stressing and stopping our need to control every aspect of life. By digging deep and finding an inner faith that everything will be okay, we are more able to relax and live with joy and ease.

Sometimes, this is easier said than done. Especially if you’ve explored the law of attraction like I have, which teaches us that thoughts become things, therefore often causing us added pressure to keep our mind aligned and disciplined.  Ironically, this takes us further away from simply letting go.

Then what is true surrender? How can we incorporate it into our lives so that it isn’t just a theory but an actual way of being?

For me, it has taken years to truly understand letting go and trusting. It’s easy for us to doubt ourselves or to question whether or not we are on the right path or if we’ve made smart choices along the way.

But here are some simple ways to open up to a more surrendered life. Practice these and you’ll be well on your way to a serene and happy way of being:

  • Look Back– If you’re stressed or worried about a particular area of your life, just look back onto past events that brought you similar angst and recall what the outcome was. Most often, it ended positively without major drama. We mostly fear things that will never come to fruition so with each similar experience that pops up, we should be able to let go more each time without anticipating the worst. Practice makes perfect. Be careful not to spend too much time in the past however, as it can rehash stuff that no longer serves us.
  • Stop Planning – Most people need to set goals and make plans to stay on track. This isn’t a bad idea but be careful not to spend too much time focused on future events or we miss the magic of today. Work on setting intentions and visions for your future but then let go fully and completely. Have faith that the Universe has heard your wishes and that it doesn’t need constant reminders in order to fulfill those very things. Again, trust and let go.
  • Create Space– Each of us requires daily, quiet, reflective time. We need to go inward and tune in to what that quiet voice of intuition is telling us. When we can get still and learn to trust our gut reactions, we will begin to rely on it as our friendly confidant that never steers us wrong. Start focusing more on living from a still and centered way of being rather than from one of analysis. Create mental and spiritual space within.
  • Stop Reacting– There comes a time in our life when we must stop being a victim, reacting to our life’s events. What if there was a higher power guiding us and it had more wisdom than we did? What if we could totally let go and be led somewhere far greater than we even imagined? Stress begets stress. Let’s work on reacting less and easing into whatever is happening in this moment with trust and faith.
  • Calming Herbs – Most of us are programmed from a young age to look at the worst case scenario. This intensifies our fight or flight reactions causing only more upset. Try herbs like Ashwaganda, Rhodiola, and Maca to boost energy while lowering the stress hormone cortisol. Chamomile, Kava kava, Valerian, and Lemon Balm along with Sun Theanine and Gamma Amino Butyric (GABA) also work very well to soothe the body and mind and lessen anxiety.
  • Have Fun – When we can remember to enjoy life, celebrate with friends, and do things that feed our inner child, we immediately begin to let go and live more in the moment. When we are fully present, we are totally surrendered. Having fun and planning outings each week will absolutely help you to relax, release, and regain balance.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.om

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Activated Charcoal – The Latest Health Breakthrough

Activated Charcoal – The Latest Health Breakthrough

If you’re shopping at your local health food store or pharmacy, you’ll definitely notice many new and unique products that contain activated charcoal. From lemonade and toothpaste to supplements, water filters, and face masks, this ingredient is the hot trend of the year.

Charcoal products used both externally for the skin and teeth or internally such as powders or capsules are usually made of activated carbon which is produced from carbonaceous source materials such as bamboo, coconut husk, willow, peat, and other wood.

When used to detox the body and skin, activated charcoal works by trapping toxins and chemicals in its millions of tiny pores, gently removing them from our system. Charcoal is often used in hospitals and emergency rooms to thoroughly help detoxify and cleanse people who have overdosed on drugs or poison. In fact, it draws out up to 2000 times it’s weight in toxins.

Another cosmetic feature of charcoal is its ability to whiten the teeth when used during brushing. Although messy, this technique works wonderfully well to remove stains from coffee, tea, red wine, and more. Because charcoal is 100% alkaline, it may also help to offset some of the acidity that leads to cavities, bad breath, and gum disease.

Charcoal is known to help alleviate gas, bloating and digestive disorders, and may lower harmful cholesterol, increase the function of the liver, kidneys, and adrenal glands, and it could even prevent hangovers. Topical products assist with blackheads, clogged pores, acne, body odor, and other skin irritation and rashes.

Look for organic skincare and toothpaste containing charcoal along with supplements or powders that can be added to your daily smoothie or juice.

When taken internally, it’s best to start slowly and build up from there. Consume charcoal two hours before or after eating a meal or taking your supplements and medications as it may interfere with nutrient absorption.

Minor side effects may occur such as constipation or black stool but overall, it is well tolerated. Always, check with your doctor before starting a new supplement or health regimen.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness, and Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!