What We Think We Want Isn’t Always What We Need

What We Think We Want Isn’t Always What We Need

Have you ever asked or perhaps begged and pleaded the Universe for something that you really wanted? I know that I have.

In fact, most recently I had been doing a lot of that type of thing. Over the past few months I’ve been pitched for numerous television opportunities with big networks. While I have been featured on TV many times over the years, I’ve wanted nothing more than to have my own Television show promoting health and wellness in a larger way.

Fast forward. None of those specific opportunities came to fruition. However, I was offered a unique opportunity to work with a health food company promoting their amazing superfood products. At first I resisted because I knew what was best for me; that was being on TV and not going back into sales.

But as I’ve delved more into helping people by promoting these life-changing products, I quickly realized that in fact, it wasn’t so much the television thing that I yearned for, it was the meaning and purpose and excitement that went along with it. Ironically, that’s what I am getting with this new opportunity. I wanted the satisfaction of being able to help people during my day while feeling productive and that’s exactly what I am doing now, albeit in a different vehicle.

How many of you have an exact image of how your life should be? Do you know precisely what the man or woman of your dreams looks like? Are you set on living in only one neighborhood while doing a specific career? If so, you may be missing out.

While it is good to have a clear vision and goals, that very clarity may also be preventing you from moving forward. When we are so focused on how we think our life should be, we become inflexible to what else is available. We remain too rigid to see that in fact, there are numerous paths to living our dream life. The Universe that we begged and pleaded may have a quicker, easier, and more enjoyable route than we could have even imagined.

What if that very Universe actually knows better than we do? What if we surrendered a little and handed it over? What would life be like if we let go, trusted, and had total faith? What if we said “this or something better?”

I for one could not be happier, more motivated, and fulfilled with my new position. That’s not to say that I won’t be on a regular on television one day soon but if I had not opened myself up to other slivers of possibility, I may have just been clinging onto one vision of how I wanted things to be. I may have missed out on other amazing chances to create a great life in this moment.

This week, I invite you to go inward, tune in, and listen. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Become malleable. Are people offering you incentives, opportunities, and new challenges that you may be turning down? Is the Universe showing you signs that you’re missing because you want it your way?

If you lift and broaden your gaze just a bit, you may begin to see things differently. If you ask for a miracle, expect it to come. Just don’t expect it to look exactly the way you’ve envisioned. Sometimes it will. Sometimes it won’t. As the Rolling Stones wrote in their hit song, “you can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes, well you might find you get what you need.“

You’re good now. Just wait and see all the abundance that begins pouring in.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles. http://www.jaybradleylifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

6 Steps to Help You Stop Worrying and Start Living

6 Steps to Help You Stop Worrying and Start Living

Have you put all of your energy into building a business, finding love, or creating a life-long dream only to be disappointed by the results? Maybe you feel exhausted because you’ve done all the right things and taken the steps you’ve been guided to and still you ask “where is my stuff?!”

You’re not alone. Most people sit in one of two categories. The first are those who have managed to bring in exactly what they’ve wanted only to discover that it hasn’t offered them the lasting joy they thought, or group two is still praying, working, and stressing over not accomplishing what they truly desire and wondering when and if it’ll show up.

What’s the missing link in both groups? They are both living in a world where the illusion of more stuff, a new relationship, or something other than what they have now becomes their main objective to find happiness.

Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with desires. They are what keep us going and they give us motivation and something to look forward to. And yes, nice stuff does make us giddy for a short time. But when those very goals overtake our present moment awareness and sideswipe our happiness, we have a problem.

If we pay very close attention, we can start seeing the signs of this movement off course. We begin spending more time living in the future then we do in the here and now. We may become cranky, tired, or negative or perhaps we begin feeling down and we lose faith. These are all signs that not only are we slipping into a destructive frame of mind but we are also running our spiritual and emotional batteries dangerously low.

There are steps to take in order to re-charge BEFORE we find ourselves totally burned out. Here are 6 steps to take that will help you to stop worrying and start living:

Meditation – I know that sometimes when you’re down the last thing you want to do is meditate. But even 5-10 minutes of quiet time focusing on your breath may be enough to lower your stress and bring you back to center. Having a consistent meditation practice may prevent the emotional rollercoasters from happening in the future too.

Serve – Another thing that you may feel less likely to do when absorbed in your own pain is to give back to others but often that is EXACTLY what you need. When we feel like victims in our own lives, it helps to offer those less fortunate our time, money, or whatever it is that we can give. It acts as a reminder that our lives really aren’t so bad after all and we gain a new perspective.

Rest – Often the best thing that you can do when you’re feeling stuck or down is to sleep! Rest not only turns off our active brain temporarily but it also renews our physical health, which is directly tied to our emotions. Allow yourself some rest without feeling guilty or ashamed. Often a 20-minute nap is all you need to feel better.

Journal – Getting our thoughts out of our head and onto paper is imperative. When we carry around goals, to-do lists, resentments, frustrations, and even dreams, we can get overwhelmed. By writing down each and every thing that comes to mind, we make room and have less clutter, leaving us feeling lighter and more focused on the here and now.

Get Creative – When we can get re-acquainted with our inner child by being creative, it is the best way to feel fulfilled. While material things or love or an exotic vacation is awesome, what we are truly yearning for is creativity and play. Paint, sing, play dress-up with your kids, or do something that makes you laugh and forget about your current worries. Being playful is key to bringing you back to the moment.

Read – Reading uplifting material every day, whether it is spiritual or motivational, will connect you with the positive messages you need to stay on track. It is so easy to slip into the traps of negativity so connecting to uplifting words or audio is more important than ever!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles.

http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

New People – The Key to Opportunity, Growth and Change!

New People – The Key to Opportunity, Growth and Change!

I’ll be the first to admit that while I enjoy having great friends and a busy social life, I can be a bit of a homebody too. I’m both extroverted and introverted at the same time. I love routine, alone time, and structure and sometimes it’s hard to put myself out there to interact. This is partly because I am very sensitive to other’s energy and often I find myself drained when I’m around people who aren’t present or with those who are self-involved. Maybe you can relate?

What I’ve learned however is that new people in our lives bring with them, new opportunities and growth. And while it is essential to have long-standing relationships and friendships along with quality time in solitude, it is equally imperative not to grow stagnant or to cut yourself off from new energy.

If your job or lifestyle forces you to be around new people, then in many ways you are naturally keeping this flow going. But if you work from home or your job involves being in solitude, it is vital that you push yourself outside of your comfort zone regularly in order to broaden your circle of influence.

Much research has been done to show that those with a strong and significant support system tend to live longer lives so this is particularly important for those interested in health and longevity.

It is said that we become like the people we surround ourselves with the most. Look around. Do you want to be like those with whom you spend the most time or are you ready to bring in new folks who are more aligned with your bigger vision? Do you have kind and giving individuals in your circle? If you’re looking to become more successful and prosperous, are you surrounding yourself with affluent people? If your desire is to open up spiritually and emotionally, are those around you doing the same?

By paying attention to our day-to-day communications and to how we feel when we are with those we see regularly, we can begin to observe patterns. Do those very people lift us up or drain our life force? Do they offer us love, acceptance, and inspiration or do they judge us and dim our light? Are they jealous and competitive or do they wish us only success and happiness? The answers may tell us that it’s time to make some changes.

Bringing in new friends doesn’t have to be complicated. I have moved from city to city numerous times and I’ve learned to adapt. What I have noticed is that there are opportunities to meet new people each day. The best way is by doing more of what you love. If you don’t enjoy networking events for example, take a class or join a group doing something that excites you. Make a goal of trying something new every month whether it is a painting class, hiking group, or book club. What about the neighbors that you greet on the elevator each morning or those you see at the gym? Each one represents a possible new connection with a meaningful outcome. If we want something to shift, we need to shift also. Try shaking things up a little bit and push yourself into new territory. Say hello, invite somebody for coffee, or give a compliment. Break the ice and often you may be surprised to see that it opens the door for amazing new individuals who bring with them a bounty of renewed vigor, ideas, connections, and inspiration.

Keep a healthy balance of old and new friends and always maintain a solid foundation with those who offer you grounding and unconditional support. But also remember to branch out and allow new people who can assist you in your elevated path. A new person equals new energy, growth, opportunity, and insight that can change your life forever.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

You ARE Okay…Even When You Think You’re Not

You ARE Okay…Even When You Think You’re Not

I had a bad week. After an amazing birthday celebration, I sank low and found myself feeling sad and melancholy with a heavy heart. The feelings have lasted for days during which time I began to beat myself up for wasting time. I started to feel victimized by my mood and frustrated that I didn’t have the energy to get out there and “make things happen.”

This pattern started when I was very young. I was a sick kid and I often felt depressed. I desperately wanted to feel better! I became curious at a young age about how the Body, Mind and Spirit came together to create our overall experience. You name it I’ve tried it, read it, or done it with my continual focus on getting well.

Fast-forward decades later, and while I feel so much better, I still struggle. I get down more times then I’d like to admit and although my physical body has been healthy, I still get tired at times. This has led to a repetitive pattern of thoughts like “what am I doing wrong?” “After all this effort, why do I still feel bad?”

Perhaps you can relate. It seems like so many people are out there talking about their successes, their breakthroughs and their wins and very few are open enough to share what really goes on just below the surface; those feelings of fragility, insecurity, and fear.

How many of you have an underlying problem that never goes away? How many feel that you are broken in some way and need to be fixed? Perhaps it’s a physical ailment that returns under stressful conditions or a constant struggle to provide a good income doing what you love, or a generalized anxiety and depression? Whatever the so-called problem, maybe it is time to embrace it rather than chase it away. Perhaps we can make it our friend rather than something we resist with all our force.

There are important lessons to learn through our pain and struggle. It may often seem that life offers us unexpected and sometimes undesirable experiences. No matter how positive we are, how many warrior weekends we’ve attended or the number of spiritual books we’ve read, sometimes shit happens. And guess what? It doesn’t mean that there we are faulty or that we’ve made bad choices.

Begin paying special attention to those things that aren’t working for you, those seemingly negative thoughts and patterns that you want so badly to disappear. Talk to them. Befriend them. Listen. Forgive. Offer them unconditional love. Treat them as if you would a desperate friend in need. They are parts of you just as much as the awesome award you recently won, the marathon you completed, or the dream home that you live in.

Wellness, health, and life are all about balance. With the good will come some bad. With the ups comes downs. When we work so hard to resist, avoid, and block the negative, we end up beating ourselves up and draining our very life source. We swim upstream rather than going with the flow. We go outward rather than inward where the true acceptance lies.

Today, love and accept yourself unconditionally no matter where you are. Embrace the pain and begin checking in to see what it’s trying to tell you. Be gentle with yourself and know that there is nowhere you need to be other than right here, right now. Be okay drudging through the mud. Begin making self-love, self-acceptance, and life-acceptance a regular part of your day, week, month and ultimately, your life.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles

http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Gratitude – The Key to Lasting Joy

Gratitude – The Key to Lasting Joy

I’ll be the first to admit that there have been many times in my life when I have struggled with feeling thankful. I have spent much of my time living in the future wanting, striving, and desiring more. Wishing for more success, more creativity, more balance, more growth has taken me away from the present moment.

We live in a society that has taught us to push forward and strive for those things that we desire. For the most part, I think this is a great concept. After all, we do live in a physical world with lots of wonderful opportunities and things to accomplish. It’s quite natural to want a loving relationship, the newest iPhone, or whatever it is that we are drawn to. The key is to find balance.

What has become blatantly clear to me is that unless we find gratitude in our day-to-day experiences, we are actually blocking more good from coming in. To be thankful for what we already have is an act of living in the present moment, which literally showers us with positivity and optimism.

Being still in the here and now is really the only place that we can be. Our minds may wander to a past experience or future dream but all we truly have is this moment. And for the most part, what we have is pretty darn good. Even if some are struggling with an illness or financial crisis, there are blessings to be found in those challenges should we choose to see them. Embracing gratitude shifts our energetic field and can actually speed up our healing and create miracles in our life. Being thankful for ALL THAT IS even when things don’t look the way we’d like is the key to living a happy and fulfilling life.

If you’re like me and often find yourself daydreaming about the future, try gently bringing yourself back to the now and make a mental list of 5 things that you’re grateful for today. They can be as small as the view from your window, the cozy bed you sleep in, or the stranger who opens the door for you at the office.

When we begin to notice the small gifts, we make way for even more goodness to come in. By living with more appreciation for the now, ironically, we are creating a brighter future, which feels more rich and satisfying.

It seems that for some people being grateful comes naturally, while others find it more challenging. I am beginning to wonder if there is perhaps a gratitude gauge that is set higher in some people than others. Similar to the happiness gauge where some people just seem more joyful from day-to-day while others have to work harder at it.

So regardless of where you are on the scale, there is nothing more important than committing to being thankful for today. Keep a gratitude journal and make lists of ALL of the blessings in your life. Tell others how thankful you are for their friendship. Become conscious of what is going right for you today instead of what is going wrong. The more we can put our attention on that, the better our lives will become.

Living in a state of gratitude is the best gift that you can give to yourself. It takes practice but like anything that you focus on, it does become easier with time and eventually being grateful will become your norm. Gratitude really is the key to lasting joy. Give it a try.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles. http://JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

7 Steps to Aging More Youthfully

7 Steps to Aging More Youthfully

Let’s face it aging is a privilege. Many people don’t have the opportunity to get old because of premature death so the fact that we are experiencing this process is a blessing in itself.

But in a world where our looks, appearance, and body image have become so important, where do we draw the line between accepting what is as we get older and when to make improvements to look and feel better?

The fact that many of us are living longer means that we will need to take even better care of our bodies and minds in order to enjoy our lives as we move into our 70’s, 80’s and beyond.

What worked for our grandparents may not be enough for us. With environmental problems, stress, and a lower quality of food, shifts need to take place. We can’t rely on the old paradigm because times have changed.

Here are 7 ways that you can make changes today in order to not only age more youthfully but to enjoy the time that you have that much more.

Organics – We must start buying organic produce, dairy products, meats and more if we want to increase our odds of living longer. We are already bombarded by toxic chemicals and harsh air pollutants so by eating cleaner, we give our body a break from having to detox those extra pesticides that are in our conventional foods.

Meditation – The busier that our lives get, the more we need to go inward. Meditation of some type is the key to quieting our inner voice of negativity, fear, and self-judgment, and a way to reduce stress and increase our memory and brain activity, as we get older.

Love What Is – Part of aging well is learning to love and accept our self fully and completely. Sometimes this is easier said than done. When we can learn to be gentler, we begin to quiet that inner critic and we learn to become our own best support system. Reading uplifting personal growth books, spending time in nature, tapping into inspiring projects, and creating a spiritual morning practice will help you to evolve and grow emotionally and spiritually. Learning to love what is in the present moment instead of living in the past or future will allow more joy and spontaneity into your life as well.

Exercise – It has been said over and over again but now more than ever, exercise is not optional. These days we spend less time being active and more time on our computers and IPhones. Make the daily commitment to move your body and even better, make it your social time as well. The most recent studies show that we can actually spend less time working out with better results. Consult a wellness coach, trainer, or fitness expert to learn more ways that this can be done and how you can build lean muscle and strengthen your heart for increased longevity.

Supplements – We aren’t receiving enough vitamins and minerals in food alone. This is partly because we’re too busy to eat a well-rounded diet but also because our food often contains less nourishment. Supplementing with a whole food multivitamin with minerals is like an insurance policy for your health. A potent probiotic is also essential. You’ll likely require other vitamin and herbal supplements so it’s best to have a personal consult with a wellness expert to find out which direction to go.

Sleep – Plenty of research shows that those who sleep well at night and who take short naps during the day tend to live longer and look younger. If you struggle with getting a deep slumber there are plenty of ways to remedy that including making changes to your bedroom setting along with herbal supplements or melatonin to increase the depth and quality of your sleep.

Superfoods – As mentioned, eating a healthy diet may no longer be enough. Even with the best of intentions, many of us are still lacking essential nutrients. Superfoods are known as super immune boosters! They are those foods, which really pack a punch when it comes to boosting your health and fighting off disease. While many of them can be eaten, I suggest looking for easily digestible superfood powders or supplements that are organic, raw and not overly processed. Some of these include greens powders like chlorella, mushroom extracts, herbs such as ashwaganda and maca, moringa, green tea, coconut, blueberries and many more!

Social Connection – In this hectic time of social media, ironically we have lost the ability to be social. Many of us, myself included, feel lonelier than ever. We rely on texting and instant messenger over talking. I predict a time in the very near future when we will go back to basics; a time when we re-learn the art of communication and when many of us will begin to yearn for a deeper, more personal connection. Decide that you are going to make a more conscious effort to surround yourself with supportive and loving individuals and consider distancing yourself from those people that drain you.

It is the daily, consistent steps we take which will make the biggest difference in the way we age. Aging isn’t an option. How we age is.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert living in Los Angeles.

http://jaybradleylifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!