Anti-Social Media     

Anti-Social Media     

I’ve been taking a social media vacation. I needed a break. The more people I speak with, it seems that I am not alone. Others are also spending less time in their online communities yearning for a simpler way of life without the need for constant connection.

How is it that the very thing called social media has actually created a world that feels more lonely than ever before? Why does it now take effort to post, click, and interact, when it used to be light and fun? Why are many of us feeling anti-social with a need to disconnect?

There are a number of factors at play. The main reason this is happening is because we are actually having less and less physical interaction and the cyber world of likes, friends, and emoji’s has attempted to replace communication and connectedness. The bubble we’ve created of online dating and socializing has finally hit us hard. We’ve become burned out from this seemingly artificial way of feeling loved.

The problem is that we have forgotten what it’s truly like to bond and have intimate relationships which can only be created by speaking, listening and being present with another human being. Instead, we partially get involved when in truth, it isn’t a complete relationship. If we aren’t talking on the telephone, facetiming, or meeting up for coffee, then it’s somehow inadequate. Is it better than nothing? Probably. But when it comes to feeding our souls and uplifting our spirits, it may just be having the opposite effect.

With an increase in depression and suicide rates, it has shown that over time, this world of online chatter can magnify our feelings of loneliness, and leave us feeling depleted and unsupported. To top it off, if we’re already feeling down and then tune in to other’s fabulous lives on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, it only deepens our isolation.

Maybe it’s time to do a social media detox. Here is how:

  • Take a Break– Especially if you’re struggling emotionally or spiritually, stop scrolling through your social media accounts. The world will not end if you take 7 days away from your feed.
  • Replace it– Once you start your week long detox, replace your social media time doing something else. What excites you creatively that you’ve been putting off? When was the last time you read a book or took a class? How can you get back into real life instead of your online one?
  • Stop the Habit– Any habit or addiction takes work to overcome. You’ll need to literally make conscious efforts to leave your phone in the car or in a different room in order to be more fully present in your life. If you’re out with friends, stop with the impulsive need to check your accounts and BE HERE NOW.
  • Back to Basics– Start booking lunches and hikes with friends and make a point of bonding physically. Reach out to old friends in order to reconnect. If you’re looking to date, spend less time on the dating apps and more time at networking events or social gatherings. There is nothing more important than that we have physical connection, especially with those that lift us up.
  • Change Your Routine– It is so easy to do the same thing over and over again and sometimes structure is a good thing. But during this cleanse, force yourself to do something different. Finally book that group bowling or karaoke night or take a two-day getaway without the need to post every single detail about your trip.
  • Delegate – If you use social media for work purposes, hire somebody to help. There are plenty of people who can take over and assist with your online messaging. Learning to let go and asking for help will free you up and make room for exciting new opportunities and relationships.
  • Selfies to Selfless– For goodness sakes, stop with the selfies already. Feeling the need to capture every moment of your day is just boring and truth be told, nobody really cares about what you ate for lunch. Instead, be present in what is and breathe in every second instead of looking for the perfect lighting and backdrop for your next photo.

If you’re like me, you may feel more isolated and disconnected than ever. While it’s easy to blame social media, we cannot be held captive any longer. We must make a conscious choice to break free from this modern way of being and get back to living life fully. Spending time in nature, enjoying community, relaxing over candlelight and wine, and listening to soothing music are some examples of how to do this.

If you’re feeling burned out it’s up to you to make choices that lift you back up. The very thing that we have come to rely on to make us happy and to give us a sense of support, is doing the opposite. There is no better time to take a break and see what it’s like to enjoy yourself without the busyness of our online world. Day by day, start to cleanse and recreate new habits that are life-enhancing, heart opening, and ultimately, the way things were meant to be.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness and Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

 

Life’s Lessons To Make Us Stronger

Life’s Lessons To Make Us Stronger

Have you ever noticed that even when you’re doing well, life seems to test you? Do you ever sense that some invisible energy pushes you towards challenges and says “oh yea, you’re feeling good? Let’s see about that.”

While I believe that the world is a friendly place and that we are meant for joy and ease, I also suspect that we are here primarily to grow and evolve as spiritual beings, sometimes more than we we’d care to. We understand on some level that the Universe has our back but that it also directs us to be our best possible version even when we want to yell “NO, I am JUST FINE the way I am THANK YOU!”

If you regularly feel lured into a space that’s uncomfortable or areas where you thought you had it all worked out, you’re not alone. Many of us are being opened up so that we can finally release old patterns and live our best life. Often that process can be painful and disheartening.

The biggest challenge for most people comes down to self-love and self-acceptance. At our core, many of us feel unworthy. In turn, we tend to attract people and circumstances that exemplify this. While what seems like an undesirable and repetitive cycle, is actually an amazing opportunity to expand. We can learn from these lessons and finally move beyond the lower vibration and personal limitations.

If you’ve tended to attract lousy partners, failures at work, struggles financially, or ongoing health issues for example, the job is to figure out what our role is in the situation and then begin making a conscious effort to move beyond attracting the same experiences over and over again.

Instead of beating ourselves up however, there comes a quiet acknowledgement of what isn’t working and then little by little, we can begin designing a new future that is not created from old paradigms running the show.

Yes bad things can happen even when we do our best but if we begin seeing the Universe as a friendly place instead of feeling victimized, we gradually regain personal power even when times are tough and when it seems the world is against us.

If we can reconnect and charge our spiritual batteries daily by practicing self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness, we will begin to relax and our viewpoint of what’s good and bad, or right and wrong will shift into a knowing that all is well no matter what. It really is.

Sometimes life can be challenging and there are many days when we just want the lessons to stop. Decide once and for all to release the resistance and not to take things so seriously. Welcome the obstacle with open arms and step outside of your experience to see it for what it truly is…the chance to rise above and to embrace all that is.

Even when it feels like we aren’t making progress, we are! Day by day, step by step, we’re moving into a whole new and expansive space. Hang in there, you’re going to be just fine.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Consistency – The Key To Long-Lasting Balance, Self-Respect, And Joy

Consistency – The Key To Long-Lasting Balance, Self-Respect, And Joy

People often ask me how I stay so fit on an ongoing basis and my answer is always the same; consistency. I started working out at the age of 13 and have missed no more than two weeks in a row for the past 35 years. I don’t say this to brag or boast but instead to emphasize the importance of being consistent. I for one, would probably have quit my fitness routine years ago if I took long breaks in between or let it slip for too long.

Anything in our life is easier to maintain if we keep it as a regular practice. Literally scheduling time for everything that is important to you is not only necessary, it is the only way to accomplish what you set out to complete.

Regardless of what it is, from keeping your house clean and tidy, to meditating, or fine-tuning a hobby, to staying healthy, everything must be carried out with consistency in order to be your best.

When we put ourselves first along with all that we deem important, we not only keep momentum, but we also gain a sense of pride, self-love, and confidence that we have what it takes to get things done.

Those who self-sabotage tend to habitually let their good habits slide only to beat themselves up afterwards in a repetitive, downward cycle. While nobody is perfect, and I for one, have definitely struggled with consistency in areas other than my health, here are some steps to consider which may help to keep you on track:

  • Do A Little Bit Each Day– When it comes to staying organized and on top of things, do little things each day rather than waiting for it to pile up. Staying organized means putting receipts and clutter away on a daily basis instead of once per month for example.
  • Schedule It In– Literally, schedule it all in. Get an old-fashioned day-planner if necessary and write things down. Book specific times during your day with to-do lists but ensure that you also keep space open for fun, leisure, and spontaneity too.
  • Find Your Why– This is especially important when it comes to fitness. Your why is your burning desire. Why is it important to stay fit? Why do you want to lose weight, gain muscle, or stay active? Dig deep and find the underlying meaning behind everything that you do. Sometimes looking good in the mirror or getting a hot date is enough motivation to make it stick.
  • Put Yourself First– Things won’t get done in your life if you always place others needs before your own. Are you constantly going out of your way to help people while letting your own values fall to the wayside? It’s okay to be selfish! It’s okay to love yourself enough and to place importance on all the things that you value, ensuring that you make consistent space for it.
  • Healthy Boundaries– Sometimes we overdo things. Know when it’s time to say enough to work, family, friends, and obligations so that you have more than ample energy to give back to yourself. Balance is key here and only you will know where to draw the line and set healthy boundaries.
  • Give Something Up – Sometimes you’ll need to watch less TV or reduce your time on Instagram if you really want to achieve more in your life. Make a list of all the things that are important to you and those which you intend to focus on. Then, set out to get them done daily or weekly depending on what it is. If this means giving some things up that have less importance, do it! You may even find that this is the kick you’ve been looking for to finally create a change that you so desperately desire.

Each of us has some areas where it’s easier to remain consistent than others, we are human after all. With a little attention, conscious effort, and practice, you will begin to find more balance, joy, self-respect, and pride in how you live your life and the direction that you are headed.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLIfestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

 

 

Life Without Goals – Is It The Way To A Happier Experience?

Life Without Goals – Is It The Way To A Happier Experience?

Lately I’ve been sitting in a place unlike anywhere I’ve been before. I literally live my day-to-day experience without concrete goals, ambitions, or a particular destination in mind. This is the first time in my life where I have “no place to go” and I am surprisingly present and calm.

If you’re like me, you have thrived on pushing yourself towards achieving some type of future vision. You’ve found motivation through mental images of your dream home, the newest model of your favorite sports car, a perfect wedding, or manifesting the ideal physique. Whatever it is, most of us have been taught that desires equal a fulfilling reality. While I’d agree that as humans, we are often energized by new things, anytime we place our happiness in the hands of stuff yet to be accomplished, we are sure to be disappointed, and we may never find ourselves fully present in what is.

So how do we live more in the here and now and will we still attract a good experience if we stop trying? I have always been afraid to take a break from wanting with fear that my life would somehow go backwards, thinking that if I didn’t dream or desire, I’d simply shrivel up and die or at the very least, live some type of mediocre existence.

In fact, the opposite has occurred. I feel more alive than ever! Taking the pressure off to BE SOMEBODY, GET SOMEWHERE, and HAVE MORE STUFF has created an unparalleled presence and joy in THIS moment unlike anything I’ve felt before.

We’ve all heard about allowing enlightenment in through meditation and spiritual practice, and in theory, we understand what this entails. But unless we actually experience it, it’s difficult to grasp what it really means to live in the present.

This may come with age and maturity, and I’m in no way saying that I have mastered it, but when we can just slow down, take a breath, and realize that there is NO PLACE TO GET TO, and that everything outside of us is an illusion of sorts, then we begin to gain the wisdom that is described in ancient texts around the world. Knowing that we are enough just as we are. We are enough with or without our stuff, whether we are single or married, healthy or sick, rich or poor. We are enough because we are here!

Yes, we are physical beings having a spiritual experience and chances are that we will always have dreams of people, places, and things that we want to attract because we desire expansion and growth. But we may also find a time when we can simply allow these new manifestations to show up authentically without pushing or pressuring ourselves or others.

Nothing is more important than that we feel good. When we can sit in such a high vibration, we no longer worry if positive occurrences are ahead, because we understand that like attracts like. Happy attracts happy. Peace attracts more peaceful encounters. And at the end of day, we stop labeling whether something is good or bad anyway.

What would your life be like if you hopped off the hamster wheel? Who would you be if you took time out to truly enjoy the fragrant roses, to be awed by the simple fact that you are here, and without the pressure to move forward? What amazing things would show up for you if you began to live differently?

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Are you getting the results you want? Are you happy? Maybe looking for results is the problem.

I’m not suggesting that we merely sit back and halt all action, but when we can fully experience pleasure in what is, then shifts begin to happen naturally and we begin to act from a place of authenticity and alignment with less effort, stress, or strain to achieve.

Maybe, just maybe, it is time to contemplate a new way of being. Letting go. Surrendering. Living with ease. You may be in awe by the magic that begins to show up after releasing the lifetime effort of incessant striving. What would your life be like if you let yourself off the hook, made room for bigger and better things to appear while you’re busy, not being busy?

A life without goals may just bring you heaps of happiness and fulfillment, loftier than you could ever dream.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

I am nearing 50 in a matter of months, the time when many people go through a midlife crisis.  Depending upon how long we live, it may occur earlier or later, and for many, we have numerous so-called crisis in our life.

A crisis would be defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger” or “a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.”

I have definitely experienced some major shifts over the past couple of years and much of what I placed importance on no longer has meaning. It has left me questioning everything that I had been working towards in the past. The term crisis may be a bit dramatic, but I for one, most definitely feel an important and life-affirming shift.

If you see things like I do, then you realize that life as we know it, involves constant expansion and growth and the very reason we are here, is to evolve as spiritual beings having this human experience. Therefore, we begin to understand that there is no such thing as crisis. Instead, I now make a declaration for everybody out there who is feeling the effects of such a challenging chapter in their own life, to rename it “Midlife Un-Crisis!”

What are the signs that we may be in such an “Un-Crisis?”

  • Lack of clarity, motivation, or passion for life
  • Feelings of powerlessness or depression
  • Questioning where you want to go from here
  • Wondering why you feel unhappy, stuck, or complacent
  • Recognizing negative, habitual ways of being but not knowing how to move through them
  • Noticing what once made you happy in the past i.e. shopping, eating, sex, or addictive behaviors no longer fulfill you
  • Discovering that what once worked to get you ahead, no longer does
  • You choose happiness over success, money, or accolades

Here is the good news! This doesn’t mean that life is over or that you should give up. It is just the opposite. It’s reflecting back to you, that THE BEST TIMES are yet to come and that all you need to do is make space. This is a time when you don’t need outside stimulus to make you feel alive, when you can actually accomplish more with less striving, and a time when you can allow more joy, fulfillment, and ease into your experience without being so attached to outcome.

It’s the perfect time to Un-Do, Un-Wind, and Un-Tether all those things that no longer serve you. A time to let go of the parts of yourself that you’ve outgrown and moved beyond. Laying just around the corner is something far more valuable and authentic.

It’s okay to question your direction. It is fine to wonder where the heck you’re going and why you’re here. But when we can begin seeing this as a strength and not a weakness, that is where our true power lies.

There may be a midlife questioning about your career or the marriage that you committed to but if you can just love yourself through all of it and learn to be gentle, forgiving, and accepting towards all that is, and stop making yourself wrong for these feelings, then you will soon realize that we really have nothing to fear.

Yes, the inevitable is coming, we are going to die at some point. Many of us fear that more than anything else. Sometimes these painful spots we find ourselves in are derived from that deep-rooted truth we want to avoid, especially as we reach mid-life.

If you can dig deep, do the emotional and spiritual work necessary to get you through to the other side, you’ll begin to see that these times of crisis really are our best teachers and that nothing lasts forever. If we can be patient and loving all while committed to moving through whatever we are dealing with, we will realize that we are having a Midlife Un-Crisis because more is being asked of us, because we are meant to be channels of light for others and because our life is calling for us to become beacons of inspiration, and love.

Don’t give up. Stick with it and begin to unravel why you’re feeling paralyzed, apathetic, or blue. Look for clues. Allow clarity with the help of healers, books, retreats, videos, and a spiritual practice, and you will begin to see that brighter days and a new chapter worth living are just around the corner. If you’re approaching mid-life like I am, the second half really can be your happiest, most fulfilling, and rewarding if you can just ride the wave and have faith.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Heal All Areas of Your Life With Ho’Oponopono

Heal All Areas of Your Life With Ho’Oponopono

Ho’Oponopono is a Hawaiian healing technique based upon love and forgiveness. Loosely translated, it means “correction” and the basis of this practice is to take full responsibility for everything and everyone in your life.

The method involves repeating four phrases over and over again either out loud or to yourself. “I Love You,” I’m Sorry,” Please Forgive Me,” and “Thank You.”

The first phrase is about repentance, next forgiveness, then gratitude and finally love. By sending Ho’Oponopono to a person, object, or emotion, for example, we learn to take full responsibility for its presence in our life and we gently let it go by first acknowledging our part in the situation or event, and then releasing it through love and appreciation.

I use Ho’Oponopono in my transformational breath sessions because it is the most powerful way that I know to release heavy or toxic emotions, energy, and resentment. At the end of each class, I have the participants send these four healing phrases to themselves in present day, their inner child, parents and anyone else that they feel needs their love and forgiveness. I always say that it’s often the people we least want to forgive, that we need to forgive the most.

You can try the practice while reading this article. Take a moment now and think about somebody or something in your life that you resent, detest, or have undesirable emotions towards. It can be a person or situation. Since everything is made up of energy, even sending Ho’oponopono to money, an ailing organ, or a family event will work. Picture that person or thing and gently repeat to yourself “I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You.” Then, see how you feel. Most likely, you’ll immediately be lighter, more open, and relaxed. Continue to repeat the phrases until any negative or heavy feelings have dissipated.

When we learn to take full responsibility for our part in any situation, understanding that it always takes two to tango, we evolve and grow into stronger, more enlightened, and happier human beings. In essence, you’re saying “I’m sorry for my part in this” and “Please forgive me for whatever role I played in the situation.” It also takes us from victim to victor.

Practice using this amazing healing technique in your day to day life. In fact, commit to trying it for one week on everything that feels out of alignment and see what happens. Chances are you’ll begin to notice some very significant shifts in all areas of your life!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!