Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

I am nearing 50 in a matter of months, the time when many people go through a midlife crisis.  Depending upon how long we live, it may occur earlier or later, and for many, we have numerous so-called crisis in our life.

A crisis would be defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger” or “a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.”

I have definitely experienced some major shifts over the past couple of years and much of what I placed importance on no longer has meaning. It has left me questioning everything that I had been working towards in the past. The term crisis may be a bit dramatic, but I for one, most definitely feel an important and life-affirming shift.

If you see things like I do, then you realize that life as we know it, involves constant expansion and growth and the very reason we are here, is to evolve as spiritual beings having this human experience. Therefore, we begin to understand that there is no such thing as crisis. Instead, I now make a declaration for everybody out there who is feeling the effects of such a challenging chapter in their own life, to rename it “Midlife Un-Crisis!”

What are the signs that we may be in such an “Un-Crisis?”

  • Lack of clarity, motivation, or passion for life
  • Feelings of powerlessness or depression
  • Questioning where you want to go from here
  • Wondering why you feel unhappy, stuck, or complacent
  • Recognizing negative, habitual ways of being but not knowing how to move through them
  • Noticing what once made you happy in the past i.e. shopping, eating, sex, or addictive behaviors no longer fulfill you
  • Discovering that what once worked to get you ahead, no longer does
  • You choose happiness over success, money, or accolades

Here is the good news! This doesn’t mean that life is over or that you should give up. It is just the opposite. It’s reflecting back to you, that THE BEST TIMES are yet to come and that all you need to do is make space. This is a time when you don’t need outside stimulus to make you feel alive, when you can actually accomplish more with less striving, and a time when you can allow more joy, fulfillment, and ease into your experience without being so attached to outcome.

It’s the perfect time to Un-Do, Un-Wind, and Un-Tether all those things that no longer serve you. A time to let go of the parts of yourself that you’ve outgrown and moved beyond. Laying just around the corner is something far more valuable and authentic.

It’s okay to question your direction. It is fine to wonder where the heck you’re going and why you’re here. But when we can begin seeing this as a strength and not a weakness, that is where our true power lies.

There may be a midlife questioning about your career or the marriage that you committed to but if you can just love yourself through all of it and learn to be gentle, forgiving, and accepting towards all that is, and stop making yourself wrong for these feelings, then you will soon realize that we really have nothing to fear.

Yes, the inevitable is coming, we are going to die at some point. Many of us fear that more than anything else. Sometimes these painful spots we find ourselves in are derived from that deep-rooted truth we want to avoid, especially as we reach mid-life.

If you can dig deep, do the emotional and spiritual work necessary to get you through to the other side, you’ll begin to see that these times of crisis really are our best teachers and that nothing lasts forever. If we can be patient and loving all while committed to moving through whatever we are dealing with, we will realize that we are having a Midlife Un-Crisis because more is being asked of us, because we are meant to be channels of light for others and because our life is calling for us to become beacons of inspiration, and love.

Don’t give up. Stick with it and begin to unravel why you’re feeling paralyzed, apathetic, or blue. Look for clues. Allow clarity with the help of healers, books, retreats, videos, and a spiritual practice, and you will begin to see that brighter days and a new chapter worth living are just around the corner. If you’re approaching mid-life like I am, the second half really can be your happiest, most fulfilling, and rewarding if you can just ride the wave and have faith.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Sanity Guide for the Self-Employed

Sanity Guide for the Self-Employed

If you work for yourself, you understand that although it offers an exciting and independent opportunity, it isn’t always what we dreamed it would be.

Being self-motivated and accountable for your own actions is not easy and when the going gets tough, sometimes it’s easy to take a nap, grab a coffee with friends, or simply do nothing at all. And while it is certainly okay to let yourself off the hook at times, we also need incredible discipline and motivation to build our business. Having no structure and working solo is hard. All humans thrive on interaction and a social setting and extended periods of being in isolation can take its toll.

I know this all too well. I’ve been working for myself for well over a decade. Actually, there have only been a few times in my life that I actually had a job. I have thrived and I have lost my way. With any endeavor you’ll probably experience both sides of the coin too. If you’ve been fortunate enough to have ongoing success, then you have discovered the winning combination of hard work, great service, an important product, and possibly, ideal timing. But, if you find yourself in a lull or questioning your choices, just know that you aren’t alone.

Constantly re-creating yourself or your business along with ongoing self-promotion takes A LOT of energy. For example, remaining on social media for hours just to bring awareness to your mission can be exhausting and is quite different than being there to connect with old friends.

Here are some things that you may want to consider if you’re in the middle of a self-employed career crisis:

  • Hire a Coach– Sometimes we need assistance. Consider bringing in an expert who can guide you through your next steps. A professional coach can help you to re-evaluate and come up with a new plan for your career and your life.
  • Get a Job– To the entrepreneur, this seems like the ultimate failure, but there is nothing wrong with getting a job. Even a part time, new career can break up the monotony of your day-to-day routine. Creating a different setting, fresh energy, and new people along with having a place to go everyday especially if you work from home, may be exactly what you need. It doesn’t mean that you’re giving up. In fact, it may spark new ideas and creativity that has been missing in your business.
  • Less Can Be More– When you’re self-employed, taking time off to do something fun often instills guilt. Thoughts like “ but I need more clients” or “I haven’t made my numbers” come to mind and even when we do create down time, often we don’t enjoy it fully. Begin allowing yourself to let go and work less with more leisure time. You may be surprised at the new leads and opportunities that come from putting yourself out there socially, especially with a renewed sense of ease and openness.
  • Change it Up– If things get too monotonous in our life, it may be time for a change. Perhaps it’s time to move homes, take up a hobby, or have a short weekend getaway to re-fuel. Shaking things up in our life from our morning routine, to our living situation or the gym we go to each day, can help us to look at the world through new eyes. We all become creatures of habit so maybe it’s time to change it up!
  • Move On– If you’ve been working, striving, and pushing to make things happen, and if you’ve considered the previous steps to no avail, then maybe it’s time to move on. While giving up your self-employed dreams can feel heart-breaking, it may be exactly what you need to bring in new energy which can totally transform your life! What if your focus and tenacity at work has been blocking new love or an exciting collaboration that is better than you envisioned? Remember, the Universe always has your back. Letting go of the old or outmoded way of being and opening up to a place of less resistance may be precisely what will bring you even more joy, fulfillment, and prosperity than you ever imagined.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

 

The Art of Doing Nothing!

The Art of Doing Nothing!

This article was prompted by a particularly slow month. August didn’t hold a lot of work commitments for me, and what normally would have stressed me out caused a complete shift in perspective. Let me explain.

I grew up in a family where my dad was a go-getter. He started a very successful business that developed into employing over 100 people and created a small empire. I watched him carefully and learned that hard work equals great success.

Because of this, I always had drive and motivation but I chose a very different path then my father. I became a model and actor from a young age and developed my creativity over my business side. Nobody had prepared me for how this was supposed to look or feel. How do I merge success, business, and creativity? Much trial and error led me to finding some success along the way and eventually guided me to where I am today.

I have learned to combine my writing, speaking, coaching, and business skills into my current career as a health, wellness and lifestyle advisor and author. But deep down there was still, until this month anyway, an uncertainty as to how to deal with the down times.

My normal reaction when things got slow was to “get busy and make something happen” but this month I decided to rest, relax, and to simply be. I still worked out at the gym and kept regular commitments but I meditated more and took quiet time to sleep and contemplate. And while income was down, the most amazing things began to happen. People, opportunities, and synchronicities showed up that I would have never expected. In my stillness, I learned to “allow” rather than to “create.”

As a go-getter myself, this was NOT easy. My normal instincts are to stay active, plan, goal set, and to DO! But if you’re like me you’ll agree that this constant action mode can get exhausting! And, in all honesty, it hasn’t led to the ultimate success that I would have liked. So I decided to try something different. When we change the way we look at things, the things around us change and I have been ready for that change for quite some time.

To my surprise, one miracle after the other began to show up into my life this month from me doing virtually nothing.

Am I suggesting that you just sit, sleep, and meditate your way through life? Of course not. But there may be times when that is the absolute best approach possible. In between chapters is a great time to relax. In fact, learning to surrender and only act when you are inspired to do so, IS, I am learning, the only way to be. It offers us the ability to be more focused on the now and to be present in the joy that surrounds us rather than being busy just for the sake of it.

So the next time you find yourself down, bored, or you simply have a lull in your work schedule, acknowledge that perhaps it’s happening to provide you an amazing opportunity. Maybe it will deliver new things into your life that are even better than you could have ever imagined! And perhaps it’s teaching you a new way to live that taps into the Universal truth that you will ALWAYS be provided for. Learning the amazing art of doing nothing may actually be the answer you’ve been waiting for.

 

Jay Bradley is an Anti-aging, wellness & lifestyle expert living in Los Angeles.
http://jaybradleylifestyle.com

He is the best-selling author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!