Life’s Lessons To Make Us Stronger

Life’s Lessons To Make Us Stronger

Have you ever noticed that even when you’re doing well, life seems to test you? Do you ever sense that some invisible energy pushes you towards challenges and says “oh yea, you’re feeling good? Let’s see about that.”

While I believe that the world is a friendly place and that we are meant for joy and ease, I also suspect that we are here primarily to grow and evolve as spiritual beings, sometimes more than we we’d care to. We understand on some level that the Universe has our back but that it also directs us to be our best possible version even when we want to yell “NO, I am JUST FINE the way I am THANK YOU!”

If you regularly feel lured into a space that’s uncomfortable or areas where you thought you had it all worked out, you’re not alone. Many of us are being opened up so that we can finally release old patterns and live our best life. Often that process can be painful and disheartening.

The biggest challenge for most people comes down to self-love and self-acceptance. At our core, many of us feel unworthy. In turn, we tend to attract people and circumstances that exemplify this. While what seems like an undesirable and repetitive cycle, is actually an amazing opportunity to expand. We can learn from these lessons and finally move beyond the lower vibration and personal limitations.

If you’ve tended to attract lousy partners, failures at work, struggles financially, or ongoing health issues for example, the job is to figure out what our role is in the situation and then begin making a conscious effort to move beyond attracting the same experiences over and over again.

Instead of beating ourselves up however, there comes a quiet acknowledgement of what isn’t working and then little by little, we can begin designing a new future that is not created from old paradigms running the show.

Yes bad things can happen even when we do our best but if we begin seeing the Universe as a friendly place instead of feeling victimized, we gradually regain personal power even when times are tough and when it seems the world is against us.

If we can reconnect and charge our spiritual batteries daily by practicing self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness, we will begin to relax and our viewpoint of what’s good and bad, or right and wrong will shift into a knowing that all is well no matter what. It really is.

Sometimes life can be challenging and there are many days when we just want the lessons to stop. Decide once and for all to release the resistance and not to take things so seriously. Welcome the obstacle with open arms and step outside of your experience to see it for what it truly is…the chance to rise above and to embrace all that is.

Even when it feels like we aren’t making progress, we are! Day by day, step by step, we’re moving into a whole new and expansive space. Hang in there, you’re going to be just fine.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Consistency – The Key To Long-Lasting Balance, Self-Respect, And Joy

Consistency – The Key To Long-Lasting Balance, Self-Respect, And Joy

People often ask me how I stay so fit on an ongoing basis and my answer is always the same; consistency. I started working out at the age of 13 and have missed no more than two weeks in a row for the past 35 years. I don’t say this to brag or boast but instead to emphasize the importance of being consistent. I for one, would probably have quit my fitness routine years ago if I took long breaks in between or let it slip for too long.

Anything in our life is easier to maintain if we keep it as a regular practice. Literally scheduling time for everything that is important to you is not only necessary, it is the only way to accomplish what you set out to complete.

Regardless of what it is, from keeping your house clean and tidy, to meditating, or fine-tuning a hobby, to staying healthy, everything must be carried out with consistency in order to be your best.

When we put ourselves first along with all that we deem important, we not only keep momentum, but we also gain a sense of pride, self-love, and confidence that we have what it takes to get things done.

Those who self-sabotage tend to habitually let their good habits slide only to beat themselves up afterwards in a repetitive, downward cycle. While nobody is perfect, and I for one, have definitely struggled with consistency in areas other than my health, here are some steps to consider which may help to keep you on track:

  • Do A Little Bit Each Day– When it comes to staying organized and on top of things, do little things each day rather than waiting for it to pile up. Staying organized means putting receipts and clutter away on a daily basis instead of once per month for example.
  • Schedule It In– Literally, schedule it all in. Get an old-fashioned day-planner if necessary and write things down. Book specific times during your day with to-do lists but ensure that you also keep space open for fun, leisure, and spontaneity too.
  • Find Your Why– This is especially important when it comes to fitness. Your why is your burning desire. Why is it important to stay fit? Why do you want to lose weight, gain muscle, or stay active? Dig deep and find the underlying meaning behind everything that you do. Sometimes looking good in the mirror or getting a hot date is enough motivation to make it stick.
  • Put Yourself First– Things won’t get done in your life if you always place others needs before your own. Are you constantly going out of your way to help people while letting your own values fall to the wayside? It’s okay to be selfish! It’s okay to love yourself enough and to place importance on all the things that you value, ensuring that you make consistent space for it.
  • Healthy Boundaries– Sometimes we overdo things. Know when it’s time to say enough to work, family, friends, and obligations so that you have more than ample energy to give back to yourself. Balance is key here and only you will know where to draw the line and set healthy boundaries.
  • Give Something Up – Sometimes you’ll need to watch less TV or reduce your time on Instagram if you really want to achieve more in your life. Make a list of all the things that are important to you and those which you intend to focus on. Then, set out to get them done daily or weekly depending on what it is. If this means giving some things up that have less importance, do it! You may even find that this is the kick you’ve been looking for to finally create a change that you so desperately desire.

Each of us has some areas where it’s easier to remain consistent than others, we are human after all. With a little attention, conscious effort, and practice, you will begin to find more balance, joy, self-respect, and pride in how you live your life and the direction that you are headed.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLIfestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

 

 

The Voice Of The Bully – Are YOU Your Worst Critic?

The Voice Of The Bully – Are YOU Your Worst Critic?

Most of us have been bullied. It often happens during our adolescent and teenage years and can take form in both verbal and physical abuse. I was bullied from kindergarten all the way through high school so I can certainly relate all too well.

The tormentor that I want to bring light to today is that of our inner bully. The voice of sabotage, put downs, and painful, recurring messages that we direct toward ourselves.

Ironically, we learn early on from other bullies, one of two things; To either accept their cruelty as truth, or if we have enough strength and self-respect from a young age, to repel their destructive messages. Unfortunately, many of us take these mean and degrading words to heart and we begin to use them as weapons against ourselves.

Constant abuse of any kind can eventually play with our minds and cause us to go into a downward spiral of negative, habitual self-talk. Even with plenty of positive tapes playing in the background, the frequent, underlying message is that “we are not enough.”

So how do we stop the influence of our bully, making way for more happiness, success, and self-esteem?

  • Recognize The Voice– Become clear that there is, in fact, a voice that is getting in the way. Begin to see patterns in your thoughts, actions, and inner dialogue that makes you feel bad. Listen to those voices but don’t buy into them. Start to recognize how you bully yourself and put yourself down on an ongoing basis.
  • Don’t Believe it– The next step is to STOP believing these messages. The routine we have fallen into is a toxic pattern of self-abuse and it has to stop! Begin separating yourself from the negativity and understand that it isn’t the voice of truth or reason. It is simply negative programming.
  • Befriend The Bully– Make friends with the bully. Hear what they have to say. Get sensible and send the tyrant gentleness. Like all bullies in our life, all they really need is recognition and love. What we resist, persists. What we love and forgive, dissipates.
  • Practice Feeling– Pay close attention to how you feel. What thoughts and words empower and energize you? Which ones drain you and make you feel tired or sad? Eventually, with a little practice, you WILL be able to create a new pattern of positivity, self-love, and becoming your own best friend and support system.
  • Spend Time Being Confident – Extend more energy doing those things that make you feel confident. If you constantly push yourself into areas that make you anxious and insecure, it’s fine to a point because it causes you to grow, but make sure that you are also doing many things that you’re great at! Somebody with low self-worth tends to continue patterns that emphasize their feelings of lack. Shift gears, you ARE amazing at many things! Start doing them more often.
  • Re-Charge– Continually re-charge your emotional and spiritual batteries. Create a daily practice that keeps you plugged in. Pray, meditate, journal, do yoga, read uplifting books, sing, get creative, and do whatever it takes to keep you balanced and open-hearted. With consistency, you will keep your batteries from becoming dangerously low and therefore avoiding the fall back into old patterns.

From somebody who has lived most of my life feeling unworthy due to early programming, I can tell you that THERE IS HOPE! It will take some consistent effort on your part but if you keep on, keeping on, you will most definitely make positive strides in the direction of regaining your natural state…that of confidence, self-love, worthiness, and a knowing that you are enough just as you are!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

Are You Having A Midlife Un-Crisis?

I am nearing 50 in a matter of months, the time when many people go through a midlife crisis.  Depending upon how long we live, it may occur earlier or later, and for many, we have numerous so-called crisis in our life.

A crisis would be defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger” or “a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.”

I have definitely experienced some major shifts over the past couple of years and much of what I placed importance on no longer has meaning. It has left me questioning everything that I had been working towards in the past. The term crisis may be a bit dramatic, but I for one, most definitely feel an important and life-affirming shift.

If you see things like I do, then you realize that life as we know it, involves constant expansion and growth and the very reason we are here, is to evolve as spiritual beings having this human experience. Therefore, we begin to understand that there is no such thing as crisis. Instead, I now make a declaration for everybody out there who is feeling the effects of such a challenging chapter in their own life, to rename it “Midlife Un-Crisis!”

What are the signs that we may be in such an “Un-Crisis?”

  • Lack of clarity, motivation, or passion for life
  • Feelings of powerlessness or depression
  • Questioning where you want to go from here
  • Wondering why you feel unhappy, stuck, or complacent
  • Recognizing negative, habitual ways of being but not knowing how to move through them
  • Noticing what once made you happy in the past i.e. shopping, eating, sex, or addictive behaviors no longer fulfill you
  • Discovering that what once worked to get you ahead, no longer does
  • You choose happiness over success, money, or accolades

Here is the good news! This doesn’t mean that life is over or that you should give up. It is just the opposite. It’s reflecting back to you, that THE BEST TIMES are yet to come and that all you need to do is make space. This is a time when you don’t need outside stimulus to make you feel alive, when you can actually accomplish more with less striving, and a time when you can allow more joy, fulfillment, and ease into your experience without being so attached to outcome.

It’s the perfect time to Un-Do, Un-Wind, and Un-Tether all those things that no longer serve you. A time to let go of the parts of yourself that you’ve outgrown and moved beyond. Laying just around the corner is something far more valuable and authentic.

It’s okay to question your direction. It is fine to wonder where the heck you’re going and why you’re here. But when we can begin seeing this as a strength and not a weakness, that is where our true power lies.

There may be a midlife questioning about your career or the marriage that you committed to but if you can just love yourself through all of it and learn to be gentle, forgiving, and accepting towards all that is, and stop making yourself wrong for these feelings, then you will soon realize that we really have nothing to fear.

Yes, the inevitable is coming, we are going to die at some point. Many of us fear that more than anything else. Sometimes these painful spots we find ourselves in are derived from that deep-rooted truth we want to avoid, especially as we reach mid-life.

If you can dig deep, do the emotional and spiritual work necessary to get you through to the other side, you’ll begin to see that these times of crisis really are our best teachers and that nothing lasts forever. If we can be patient and loving all while committed to moving through whatever we are dealing with, we will realize that we are having a Midlife Un-Crisis because more is being asked of us, because we are meant to be channels of light for others and because our life is calling for us to become beacons of inspiration, and love.

Don’t give up. Stick with it and begin to unravel why you’re feeling paralyzed, apathetic, or blue. Look for clues. Allow clarity with the help of healers, books, retreats, videos, and a spiritual practice, and you will begin to see that brighter days and a new chapter worth living are just around the corner. If you’re approaching mid-life like I am, the second half really can be your happiest, most fulfilling, and rewarding if you can just ride the wave and have faith.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Choose LOVE Over Fear

Choose LOVE Over Fear

This week, I got to thinking about the motivation behind my passion for health. I realized that some of the energy that I put in, the supplements, organic food, alkaline water, and even exercise, is partly based on fear. Thoughts like “I don’t want to get sick” or “I want to protect myself from that” often sit just below the surface.

Every day I read articles about health and wellness and how we can avoid disease. Studies about cell phones, chemicals, stress, and vaccines make headlines regularly, leaving us confused and sometimes, a little panicked.

If we look at the law of attraction, what we think about expands. While we may be focused on good health and longevity, if the underlying, unconscious message is “I am afraid of getting old,” then the Universe often hears those concerns and may eventually bring us evidence that matches those fears.

I speak a lot about finding gratitude and focusing on the positive and while that isn’t always easy, perhaps it is time to do this with our wellness and lifestyle practices.

For example, when taking your daily superfoods or supplements, quietly give thanks to yourself for the blessing of these vitamin-packed nutrients which will naturally override that tiny voice that says “I have to kill these damn free radicals that are attacking my cells.” The inside conversation can be quite humorous if we really look at it and maybe it is time to lighten up about the entire situation.

I’m all about taking proactive measures that increase our odds of living a long and vital life, but perhaps we can let up just a bit and begin enjoying the journey more fully. We can rest assured that most of our prevalent fears will NEVER come true and the BIG one that we’re all trying to avoid, death, cannot be escaped anyway, so why not LIVE fully now, in love.

Take the time to feel good about things like exercise, sleep, meditation, healthy eating, less cell phone use, unplugging from social media, spending more time laughing and enjoying your friends, and clearing your house of toxic chemicals, but don’t fixate. Instead, find a happy balance while knowing that you are doing the best that you can.  Don’t let your obsessive compulsive nature, anxiety, or fear ruin the joy along the way.

By all means, make smart choices, continue to educate yourself so that you and your family can be protected but then let go! Relax. Breathe. If you can’t afford that latest miracle superfood powder or replacing your home water filters with the latest and greatest, it is okay. You are going to be fine. Our bodies are resilient and what gets us more than the latest cancer-causing chemical, is the stress that we create trying to avoid them.

Honor yourself enough to make everything you do for your health, a positive and loving ritual. Stop, give thanks, bless it and know that the energy that we infuse into each moment is far more vital and life-changing than missing a day of yoga or exercise. Choose love and not fear every single time and what you focus on will expand and grow.

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!