For years I told a story of illness, depression, and suffering. It wasn’t entirely my fault since my chronic sickness began when I was a child so it was all that I knew at the time. My story involved asthma, earaches, allergies, and just a general malaise about life. I was often drugged with cough medicine and antibiotics so that I could heal what was ailing me but ironically, it was doing more harm than good. My pain story also involved being bullied and taunted from as far back as I can remember. Not the best story to tell but it was the only one that I knew at the time.
We all have stories to tell. Some of us love to get into the nitty gritty detail of how hard life has been for us. Others tell a lighter, more empowering tale. Our ability to develop and hash out the storyline comes from years of planning, experiencing, and developing the various characters and dramas along the way.
If we want a different life experience, we MUST tell a different story! Most likely, that plotline we’ve been reciting since youth no longer serves us. In fact, by telling the same story over and over again, we are perpetuating duplicative experiences and challenges that we have already lived out. Maybe it’s time to tell a new story.
Sometimes we begin slowly. For me, I started to realize early on that my story of illness was no longer serving me and that I deserved to feel better. I began to research, experiment with my body, and find experts who could help me along the journey towards healing.
While all of this was vital to my growth, the very first step was to become conscious of the story that I was telling and then slowly, make changes to my script.
Initially, it was very difficult because it’s much easier to fall into old habits, patterns and ways of being. Sometimes it’s actually more comforting to suffer than to thrive I learned.
But as we begin to catch our thoughts, ask ourselves if those very thoughts are serving us, and then replace them with more positive and loving thoughts, we gradually begin to shift and we start to re-write the storyline of our life. We begin to get vocal about our new and improved health, the wonderful opportunities that are coming our way, and all that we have to be grateful for. We start to verbalize all that we want to become even before it shows up in physical form because we now realize that in order to achieve all that we desire, we must believe it before we see it.
I understand that it can be fun to complain to friends and tell a story that makes us look and feel like a victim. Somehow there is comfort in sharing our pain with others. But perhaps it’s time to tell a completely different story, one of openness, positivity, and fulfillment. We are in charge of the words that go down on paper, nobody else. Who would you be if you began reinventing yourself and thriving? What would your life look and feel like if you were to become the person that you most admire? Maybe, just maybe it’s time to tell a different story.
Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles.
He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
Life isn’t always easy. Regardless of how many self-help books we’ve read, the number of empowering seminars and warrior camps we’ve attended, sometimes we still suffer. After all, if we were happy and overjoyed all the time, we certainly wouldn’t be able to appreciate the awesomeness of the joyous experiences when they show up.
That being said, I truly believe that we can find more fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy in our day-to-day experiences once we learn the tools of how to live more consciously. I have certainly seen and felt this in my own life and I have witnessed countless others growing, evolving, and moving through stuff that had kept them stuck for years. Once we can delve deeper into the density of our heavy emotions, things often become lighter, brighter, and more surrendered on the other side.
The next time you find yourself in a dark place where you feel paralyzed, unloved, like a victim, or any number of other habitual ways of being, consider these steps which may help to remove some of the glue that keeps you stuck:
1) ACCEPTANCE – What we resist persists. Therefore it is time to accept these struggles fully and completely. In fact, we need to learn to love them. Instead of resisting and trying to move away from the down times, why not look them straight in the face and find out what they are trying to tell you? Every life experience has a message for us. The bad times have an especially valuable meaning. Begin asking your higher self for hints about why you continue this cycle. Listen carefully. The answers will come. Your higher life is calling you and it wants you to let go of these painful times once and for all.
2) SELF-LOVE – With accepting what is comes loving ourselves through our negative patterns. Continually beating ourselves up gets us nowhere! We need to become our own best support system and cheerleaders and we need to learn how to nurture that inner child who really is crying out for our love. Practice makes perfect. Begin catching those negative internal voices and stop them in their tracks. Then turn them into loving and supportive ones. This is the first step towards reprogramming outdated ways of being and letting them go completely.
3) GO INWARD – Take time each day to get quiet. Journal, meditate, read inspirational words, and sit quietly with your thoughts. Ask your Higher Self for messages and signs to lead you into a more positive direction. Trust that you are ALWAYS being guided and find faith in knowing that brighter days are ahead.
4) FIND A HEALER – Whether your suffering is physical, mental, or spiritual, there are people out there who can help. Search. Experiment. Continue to try new healers, doctors, psychologists, coaches, or a multitude of other “angels” who have been sent on our path to help us. Friends can also be there in our time of need but it’s our job to reach out. Learning one new tool or perspective may be just enough to get you over the hump.
5) TAKE ACTION – Once we are intuitively guided, it is up to us to take the physical steps in the direction of feeling better. Most often those steps are the ones that feel most exciting. Listen to your emotions and take baby steps that feel good and the ones which seem like the most logical next step. If you are inspired to take a bigger leap, know that it’s okay to do so. I have learned that the net always appears when you need it most. Understand that growth almost always comes with some anxiety, fear, and angst. When we can learn to accept this as part of the path, we will more quickly see and feel the results that we desire.
6) GRATITUDE – Sometimes the most difficult times to be thankful are while we are in the midst of struggle. We may need to force ourselves to make a list of things that we are grateful for. They are always in our presence, we just need to become more conscious of them. Focus your mind in a positive direction rather than on all those things that you don’t have. Gratitude creates miracles!
Take heart that you are in fact, moving through the heaviness even though it may feel as if you have been here over and over again. What we can’t see during these cycles is what is happening under the surface. The changes. The subtle shifts. The transformation. We cannot stay the same. It is virtually impossible. Just as our cells are constantly renewing, so too is our life. The good news is that although you may not yet feel the improvement today, it IS happening week-by-week, day-by-day, and moment-by-moment. Do your best to enjoy the journey with as much self-love that you can muster. You may just wake up one day and realize that they no longer have power over you.
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles
He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!