Have you put all of your energy into building a business, finding love, or creating a life-long dream only to be disappointed by the results? Maybe you feel exhausted because you’ve done all the right things and taken the steps you’ve been guided to and still you ask “where is my stuff?!”
You’re not alone. Most people sit in one of two categories. The first are those who have managed to bring in exactly what they’ve wanted only to discover that it hasn’t offered them the lasting joy they thought, or group two is still praying, working, and stressing over not accomplishing what they truly desire and wondering when and if it’ll show up.
What’s the missing link in both groups? They are both living in a world where the illusion of more stuff, a new relationship, or something other than what they have now becomes their main objective to find happiness.
Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with desires. They are what keep us going and they give us motivation and something to look forward to. And yes, nice stuff does make us giddy for a short time. But when those very goals overtake our present moment awareness and sideswipe our happiness, we have a problem.
If we pay very close attention, we can start seeing the signs of this movement off course. We begin spending more time living in the future then we do in the here and now. We may become cranky, tired, or negative or perhaps we begin feeling down and we lose faith. These are all signs that not only are we slipping into a destructive frame of mind but we are also running our spiritual and emotional batteries dangerously low.
There are steps to take in order to re-charge BEFORE we find ourselves totally burned out. Here are 6 steps to take that will help you to stop worrying and start living:
Meditation – I know that sometimes when you’re down the last thing you want to do is meditate. But even 5-10 minutes of quiet time focusing on your breath may be enough to lower your stress and bring you back to center. Having a consistent meditation practice may prevent the emotional rollercoasters from happening in the future too.
Serve – Another thing that you may feel less likely to do when absorbed in your own pain is to give back to others but often that is EXACTLY what you need. When we feel like victims in our own lives, it helps to offer those less fortunate our time, money, or whatever it is that we can give. It acts as a reminder that our lives really aren’t so bad after all and we gain a new perspective.
Rest – Often the best thing that you can do when you’re feeling stuck or down is to sleep! Rest not only turns off our active brain temporarily but it also renews our physical health, which is directly tied to our emotions. Allow yourself some rest without feeling guilty or ashamed. Often a 20-minute nap is all you need to feel better.
Journal – Getting our thoughts out of our head and onto paper is imperative. When we carry around goals, to-do lists, resentments, frustrations, and even dreams, we can get overwhelmed. By writing down each and every thing that comes to mind, we make room and have less clutter, leaving us feeling lighter and more focused on the here and now.
Get Creative – When we can get re-acquainted with our inner child by being creative, it is the best way to feel fulfilled. While material things or love or an exotic vacation is awesome, what we are truly yearning for is creativity and play. Paint, sing, play dress-up with your kids, or do something that makes you laugh and forget about your current worries. Being playful is key to bringing you back to the moment.
Read – Reading uplifting material every day, whether it is spiritual or motivational, will connect you with the positive messages you need to stay on track. It is so easy to slip into the traps of negativity so connecting to uplifting words or audio is more important than ever!
Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles.
He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
Life isn’t always easy. Regardless of how many self-help books we’ve read, the number of empowering seminars and warrior camps we’ve attended, sometimes we still suffer. After all, if we were happy and overjoyed all the time, we certainly wouldn’t be able to appreciate the awesomeness of the joyous experiences when they show up.
That being said, I truly believe that we can find more fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy in our day-to-day experiences once we learn the tools of how to live more consciously. I have certainly seen and felt this in my own life and I have witnessed countless others growing, evolving, and moving through stuff that had kept them stuck for years. Once we can delve deeper into the density of our heavy emotions, things often become lighter, brighter, and more surrendered on the other side.
The next time you find yourself in a dark place where you feel paralyzed, unloved, like a victim, or any number of other habitual ways of being, consider these steps which may help to remove some of the glue that keeps you stuck:
1) ACCEPTANCE – What we resist persists. Therefore it is time to accept these struggles fully and completely. In fact, we need to learn to love them. Instead of resisting and trying to move away from the down times, why not look them straight in the face and find out what they are trying to tell you? Every life experience has a message for us. The bad times have an especially valuable meaning. Begin asking your higher self for hints about why you continue this cycle. Listen carefully. The answers will come. Your higher life is calling you and it wants you to let go of these painful times once and for all.
2) SELF-LOVE – With accepting what is comes loving ourselves through our negative patterns. Continually beating ourselves up gets us nowhere! We need to become our own best support system and cheerleaders and we need to learn how to nurture that inner child who really is crying out for our love. Practice makes perfect. Begin catching those negative internal voices and stop them in their tracks. Then turn them into loving and supportive ones. This is the first step towards reprogramming outdated ways of being and letting them go completely.
3) GO INWARD – Take time each day to get quiet. Journal, meditate, read inspirational words, and sit quietly with your thoughts. Ask your Higher Self for messages and signs to lead you into a more positive direction. Trust that you are ALWAYS being guided and find faith in knowing that brighter days are ahead.
4) FIND A HEALER – Whether your suffering is physical, mental, or spiritual, there are people out there who can help. Search. Experiment. Continue to try new healers, doctors, psychologists, coaches, or a multitude of other “angels” who have been sent on our path to help us. Friends can also be there in our time of need but it’s our job to reach out. Learning one new tool or perspective may be just enough to get you over the hump.
5) TAKE ACTION – Once we are intuitively guided, it is up to us to take the physical steps in the direction of feeling better. Most often those steps are the ones that feel most exciting. Listen to your emotions and take baby steps that feel good and the ones which seem like the most logical next step. If you are inspired to take a bigger leap, know that it’s okay to do so. I have learned that the net always appears when you need it most. Understand that growth almost always comes with some anxiety, fear, and angst. When we can learn to accept this as part of the path, we will more quickly see and feel the results that we desire.
6) GRATITUDE – Sometimes the most difficult times to be thankful are while we are in the midst of struggle. We may need to force ourselves to make a list of things that we are grateful for. They are always in our presence, we just need to become more conscious of them. Focus your mind in a positive direction rather than on all those things that you don’t have. Gratitude creates miracles!
Take heart that you are in fact, moving through the heaviness even though it may feel as if you have been here over and over again. What we can’t see during these cycles is what is happening under the surface. The changes. The subtle shifts. The transformation. We cannot stay the same. It is virtually impossible. Just as our cells are constantly renewing, so too is our life. The good news is that although you may not yet feel the improvement today, it IS happening week-by-week, day-by-day, and moment-by-moment. Do your best to enjoy the journey with as much self-love that you can muster. You may just wake up one day and realize that they no longer have power over you.
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles
He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
As a certified wellness coach CWC I’ve worked with people all over the world to help them achieve a healthier and happier balance between their body, mind, and spirit. My goal is to dig in, find out where they’re off balance, and then session by session, work to assist my clients in regaining and rediscovering a new way of living that better fits their goals.
Many of them want to lose weight, increase physical energy, or look and feel younger. While all of these are important, we come to realize as we work together that it is what’s inside that counts the most. We learn, as a team, that true balance, happiness, and wellness is ALWAYS an inside job.
If we look at quantum physics and the study of matter, we know that everything in life including the computer or phone that you’re reading this on, is in fact, energy. In essence all “things” are simply molecules bouncing around.
When we look at our physical body and our level of health for example, these too are made up of energy. The question then becomes, what gets our energy moving in a positive direction? The answer is our thoughts and emotions. Thoughts are the basis of everything that we desire. Past thoughts have created the life that we are living today and if we want to know where we’ll be in a week, month, or year from now, we need only look at today’s thoughts and inner feelings. By doing this we’ll know without much doubt what is to come.
All experiences in our present moment can be pinpointed to thoughts and beliefs that we had a week, month, or years ago. So in order to make changes in our life and improve our health, we must change our self-defeating thoughts. When we take more control and become the change that we want to see from the inside out, it’s a very empowering way to live.
This can also be one of the most challenging aspects of our journey. Many of our thoughts and beliefs are habitual and unconscious and it can be difficult to change the ones that have been with us since childhood…difficult but not impossible.
If we are dealing with a health crisis it can take even more strength and discipline to tap into that positive vibration of total healing within us. But the more we begin to catch our negative or self-defeating patterns, fears, and negative dialogue and then immediately changing them into positives, the quicker we experience shifts for the better.
Creating a morning practice that involves journaling, meditation, quiet reflection, and reading uplifting books is the beginning of putting your inner self first. When we carve out this time we begin to make our emotional and spiritual life a priority and this is where the magic begins. When we turn inward and pay attention to that quiet voice of intuition within us and we begin to get conscious of our thoughts, the right people, circumstances, and opportunities begin to show up almost effortlessly and our health often begins to improve. The ideal healer, doctor, coach, or specialist will appear with synchronicity to help speed the process along.
As I have learned in my life and through the experiences of my clients, ANYTHING is possible and change IS attainable once we begin to do the inner work of releasing negativity, fear, and limiting thoughts. When we work from the inside out and then the outside in, we have a recipe for true success in all areas. It doesn’t always happen over night but it is quite possibly the most important priority that we will ever make.
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness, and Lifestyle Coach living in Los Angeles.
He is the author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger, and Feel Better!
People often say to me “wow you must work so hard to stay fit and keep your life balanced!” My answer is always the same; “actually I don’t really work hard but I AM consistent.”
There is a VERY big difference between working hard and being consistent.
When we work hard at anything, there will always come a time soon afterwards when we crash. Either we have reached our established goal, or we have finished the intended project and now it’s time to relax. After all, working hard for extended periods of time is exhausting! Nobody can keep up strenuous efforts forever.
When we work consistently however, it means that we put in regular, steady efforts over a long period of time. When it comes to our health, wellness, emotions, and overall lifestyle, consistency wins over hard work every time!
This is a great example of why diets don’t work. People go in with a specific goal; i.e. to lose 15 pounds. Once the weight is lost, the dieter eventually goes back to their old ways and the weight comes back quickly. This is because following a strict eating regimen is hard work and counting our calories or writing in a food journal is unnatural.
When my clients want to put on muscle mass, I let them know that it’s better to choose moderate workouts for the long term rather than big bursts of heavy weights for a couple of months. For one thing, the body appreciates a nice, consistent effort where it gets accustomed to regularity. Having short-term goals of putting on muscle is fine, but unless you can make exercise habitual, usually you will reach your goal and begin slacking afterwards.
Perhaps it’s time for all of us to re-think our health and wellness strategy. With the New Year approaching, why not choose a different path? Why not make consistency your number one priority? Try taking the word “work” out of your vocabulary altogether because it has negative connotations and denotes stress. Make 2016 about the commitment to small, yet consistent steps towards a total life makeover.
Instead of making gigantic and unreachable New Year’s resolutions, why not take baby steps? When it comes to your body, mind and spirit, here are some simple actions to follow for the upcoming year. I call it The Lucky 11.
- Exercise – Get your body to a gym at least 3 days per week. Even if you are comatose and have no energy, commit. If all you do is some simple stretching, you will feel a sense of pride that at least you arrived. Just like brushing your teeth, you have made it a part of your day and for that, bravo. Getting yourself there is more than most people ever do. To take it further, make this year the one where you find a workout partner or hire a trainer so that you have somebody to be accountable to.
- Drink more water – Buy yourself a 24 oz. stainless steel or non-BPA plastic water bottle and make it a plan to fill it with filtered water three times per day. DO NOT go to bed until you have consumed 3 bottles of fresh water. Do your best to drink it earlier in the day to avoid late night trips to the bathroom. By drinking more water, you’ll look and feel better from the inside out.
- Take a Multivitamin – Go to your health food store and ask for a quality, potent antioxidant multivitamin with minerals. Commit and get into the habit of taking it daily NO MATTER WHAT. They will change your life! You may not always feel a major difference but the long-term benefits are countless. Choose a vitamin that is derived from whole foods and without fillers or additives. My favorite is Dr. Mercola multivitamin with minerals.
- Take quiet time each day – Carve out at least 20 minutes per day where you take quiet time to reflect, journal, meditate, and pray. Putting yourself first inspires others to do the same and you will see dramatic changes in the way your day unfolds. Focus on your breathing and spend time reflecting on the life you dream of. Experience it in your mind and emotions as if it has already manifested and get ready for a miraculous year!
- Conquer bad habits – Make this year the one where you finally lessen or even eliminate bad habits. We all have them. Addictions, depression, anger, and the list goes on. Do something about it. Join a self-help group. Go to therapy, hypnosis or an energy healer. Hire a coach or fitness trainer and trust that with the right intentions, you can and will get over anything that holds you back. Don’t let the past fool you into thinking that change is impossible.
- Sleep – Sleep is the most important aspect of your life. Without it, we age faster and are less healthy, efficient, and productive. Look into changing your environment to create a peaceful sanctuary. Clear your bedroom of electronic devices and disturbances. Read about hormones, in particular melatonin, and good sleep habits. Let go of the guilt around taking a brief afternoon siesta. Feeling rested not only adds years to your life but also life to your years.
- Forgive – Make the upcoming year ALL about letting go and forgiving. If you hold any resentment or animosity towards another, let it go. Work on doing a forgiveness meditation. Investigate EFT (emotional freedom technique) or try writing a letter to the person you need to forgive and then burn it as a symbol of letting go. Holding onto unresolved, toxic emotions will only cause dis-ease within our body. Release it.
- Laugh – Most of us take our life WAY too seriously. I for one have forgotten how to play. As adults, we have so many responsibilities and commitments that having fun takes less priority than paying our bills. Make plans each month to do something playful with a friend. Discover new activities or dust off an old one. Laughter literally raises our energetic vibration and transforms our body, mind, and spirit.
- Change it up – While consistency is vital, it can be easy to fall into a boring, habitual routine. Make 2016 ALL about changing it up when things become monotonous. Stick with consistent actions but do something different within those tasks. Redecorate your favorite room, paint your wall bright orange, try a new workout routine, get a cool haircut or buy yourself some hip, fashionable clothes. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone a bit and do something out of the ordinary. Shaking things up energizes us and helps to spark new life within us.
- Raw superfood powder – Most of us do our best to eat well but getting enough vitamins and nutrient-rich foods can be challenging. The best choice that you can make is to take one scoop of raw, superfood powder every single day. This is your insurance policy. It ensures that you are receiving live energy which will ignite your cells and super-charge your entire body. My favorite is called Perfect Food Raw by Garden of Life.
- Put yourself first – Focus on loving yourself. Nothing is more vital than that we put ourselves first and work on nurturing, accepting, and forgiving ourselves. Many of us have done a pretty good job of beating ourselves up. Turn it around. Being your own best support system isn’t selfish; it’s just the opposite. By taking care of yourself and putting your needs first, you set a great example to those around you. When you begin doing this, you’ll see amazing shifts in ALL areas of your life!
The beginning of each New Year is always exciting. It is filled with infinite possibilities. Make 2016 your best year ever! Commit to making consistent efforts to shift and balance your body, mind, and spirit. Decide to put yourself first and eliminate the word “work” from your vocabulary. Not only will you look and feel better but you will also experience a sense of self-empowerment that nobody can take away!
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness, and Lifestyle Expert living in Los Angeles.
He is the author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!