Many of us have read self-help books that talk about surrendering and letting go as a way of de-stressing and stopping our need to control every aspect of life. By digging deep and finding an inner faith that everything will be okay, we are more able to relax and live with joy and ease.
Sometimes, this is easier said than done. Especially if you’ve explored the law of attraction like I have, which teaches us that thoughts become things, therefore often causing us added pressure to keep our mind aligned and disciplined. Ironically, this takes us further away from simply letting go.
Then what is true surrender? How can we incorporate it into our lives so that it isn’t just a theory but an actual way of being?
For me, it has taken years to truly understand letting go and trusting. It’s easy for us to doubt ourselves or to question whether or not we are on the right path or if we’ve made smart choices along the way.
But here are some simple ways to open up to a more surrendered life. Practice these and you’ll be well on your way to a serene and happy way of being:
- Look Back– If you’re stressed or worried about a particular area of your life, just look back onto past events that brought you similar angst and recall what the outcome was. Most often, it ended positively without major drama. We mostly fear things that will never come to fruition so with each similar experience that pops up, we should be able to let go more each time without anticipating the worst. Practice makes perfect. Be careful not to spend too much time in the past however, as it can rehash stuff that no longer serves us.
- Stop Planning – Most people need to set goals and make plans to stay on track. This isn’t a bad idea but be careful not to spend too much time focused on future events or we miss the magic of today. Work on setting intentions and visions for your future but then let go fully and completely. Have faith that the Universe has heard your wishes and that it doesn’t need constant reminders in order to fulfill those very things. Again, trust and let go.
- Create Space– Each of us requires daily, quiet, reflective time. We need to go inward and tune in to what that quiet voice of intuition is telling us. When we can get still and learn to trust our gut reactions, we will begin to rely on it as our friendly confidant that never steers us wrong. Start focusing more on living from a still and centered way of being rather than from one of analysis. Create mental and spiritual space within.
- Stop Reacting– There comes a time in our life when we must stop being a victim, reacting to our life’s events. What if there was a higher power guiding us and it had more wisdom than we did? What if we could totally let go and be led somewhere far greater than we even imagined? Stress begets stress. Let’s work on reacting less and easing into whatever is happening in this moment with trust and faith.
- Calming Herbs – Most of us are programmed from a young age to look at the worst case scenario. This intensifies our fight or flight reactions causing only more upset. Try herbs like Ashwaganda, Rhodiola, and Maca to boost energy while lowering the stress hormone cortisol. Chamomile, Kava kava, Valerian, and Lemon Balm along with Sun Theanine and Gamma Amino Butyric (GABA) also work very well to soothe the body and mind and lessen anxiety.
- Have Fun – When we can remember to enjoy life, celebrate with friends, and do things that feed our inner child, we immediately begin to let go and live more in the moment. When we are fully present, we are totally surrendered. Having fun and planning outings each week will absolutely help you to relax, release, and regain balance.
Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.om
He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
I had a bad week. After an amazing birthday celebration, I sank low and found myself feeling sad and melancholy with a heavy heart. The feelings have lasted for days during which time I began to beat myself up for wasting time. I started to feel victimized by my mood and frustrated that I didn’t have the energy to get out there and “make things happen.”
This pattern started when I was very young. I was a sick kid and I often felt depressed. I desperately wanted to feel better! I became curious at a young age about how the Body, Mind and Spirit came together to create our overall experience. You name it I’ve tried it, read it, or done it with my continual focus on getting well.
Fast-forward decades later, and while I feel so much better, I still struggle. I get down more times then I’d like to admit and although my physical body has been healthy, I still get tired at times. This has led to a repetitive pattern of thoughts like “what am I doing wrong?” “After all this effort, why do I still feel bad?”
Perhaps you can relate. It seems like so many people are out there talking about their successes, their breakthroughs and their wins and very few are open enough to share what really goes on just below the surface; those feelings of fragility, insecurity, and fear.
How many of you have an underlying problem that never goes away? How many feel that you are broken in some way and need to be fixed? Perhaps it’s a physical ailment that returns under stressful conditions or a constant struggle to provide a good income doing what you love, or a generalized anxiety and depression? Whatever the so-called problem, maybe it is time to embrace it rather than chase it away. Perhaps we can make it our friend rather than something we resist with all our force.
There are important lessons to learn through our pain and struggle. It may often seem that life offers us unexpected and sometimes undesirable experiences. No matter how positive we are, how many warrior weekends we’ve attended or the number of spiritual books we’ve read, sometimes shit happens. And guess what? It doesn’t mean that there we are faulty or that we’ve made bad choices.
Begin paying special attention to those things that aren’t working for you, those seemingly negative thoughts and patterns that you want so badly to disappear. Talk to them. Befriend them. Listen. Forgive. Offer them unconditional love. Treat them as if you would a desperate friend in need. They are parts of you just as much as the awesome award you recently won, the marathon you completed, or the dream home that you live in.
Wellness, health, and life are all about balance. With the good will come some bad. With the ups comes downs. When we work so hard to resist, avoid, and block the negative, we end up beating ourselves up and draining our very life source. We swim upstream rather than going with the flow. We go outward rather than inward where the true acceptance lies.
Today, love and accept yourself unconditionally no matter where you are. Embrace the pain and begin checking in to see what it’s trying to tell you. Be gentle with yourself and know that there is nowhere you need to be other than right here, right now. Be okay drudging through the mud. Begin making self-love, self-acceptance, and life-acceptance a regular part of your day, week, month and ultimately, your life.
Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles
He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
Life isn’t always easy. Regardless of how many self-help books we’ve read, the number of empowering seminars and warrior camps we’ve attended, sometimes we still suffer. After all, if we were happy and overjoyed all the time, we certainly wouldn’t be able to appreciate the awesomeness of the joyous experiences when they show up.
That being said, I truly believe that we can find more fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy in our day-to-day experiences once we learn the tools of how to live more consciously. I have certainly seen and felt this in my own life and I have witnessed countless others growing, evolving, and moving through stuff that had kept them stuck for years. Once we can delve deeper into the density of our heavy emotions, things often become lighter, brighter, and more surrendered on the other side.
The next time you find yourself in a dark place where you feel paralyzed, unloved, like a victim, or any number of other habitual ways of being, consider these steps which may help to remove some of the glue that keeps you stuck:
1) ACCEPTANCE – What we resist persists. Therefore it is time to accept these struggles fully and completely. In fact, we need to learn to love them. Instead of resisting and trying to move away from the down times, why not look them straight in the face and find out what they are trying to tell you? Every life experience has a message for us. The bad times have an especially valuable meaning. Begin asking your higher self for hints about why you continue this cycle. Listen carefully. The answers will come. Your higher life is calling you and it wants you to let go of these painful times once and for all.
2) SELF-LOVE – With accepting what is comes loving ourselves through our negative patterns. Continually beating ourselves up gets us nowhere! We need to become our own best support system and cheerleaders and we need to learn how to nurture that inner child who really is crying out for our love. Practice makes perfect. Begin catching those negative internal voices and stop them in their tracks. Then turn them into loving and supportive ones. This is the first step towards reprogramming outdated ways of being and letting them go completely.
3) GO INWARD – Take time each day to get quiet. Journal, meditate, read inspirational words, and sit quietly with your thoughts. Ask your Higher Self for messages and signs to lead you into a more positive direction. Trust that you are ALWAYS being guided and find faith in knowing that brighter days are ahead.
4) FIND A HEALER – Whether your suffering is physical, mental, or spiritual, there are people out there who can help. Search. Experiment. Continue to try new healers, doctors, psychologists, coaches, or a multitude of other “angels” who have been sent on our path to help us. Friends can also be there in our time of need but it’s our job to reach out. Learning one new tool or perspective may be just enough to get you over the hump.
5) TAKE ACTION – Once we are intuitively guided, it is up to us to take the physical steps in the direction of feeling better. Most often those steps are the ones that feel most exciting. Listen to your emotions and take baby steps that feel good and the ones which seem like the most logical next step. If you are inspired to take a bigger leap, know that it’s okay to do so. I have learned that the net always appears when you need it most. Understand that growth almost always comes with some anxiety, fear, and angst. When we can learn to accept this as part of the path, we will more quickly see and feel the results that we desire.
6) GRATITUDE – Sometimes the most difficult times to be thankful are while we are in the midst of struggle. We may need to force ourselves to make a list of things that we are grateful for. They are always in our presence, we just need to become more conscious of them. Focus your mind in a positive direction rather than on all those things that you don’t have. Gratitude creates miracles!
Take heart that you are in fact, moving through the heaviness even though it may feel as if you have been here over and over again. What we can’t see during these cycles is what is happening under the surface. The changes. The subtle shifts. The transformation. We cannot stay the same. It is virtually impossible. Just as our cells are constantly renewing, so too is our life. The good news is that although you may not yet feel the improvement today, it IS happening week-by-week, day-by-day, and moment-by-moment. Do your best to enjoy the journey with as much self-love that you can muster. You may just wake up one day and realize that they no longer have power over you.
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles
He is the Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!