Is Anger Getting in the Way?

Is Anger Getting in the Way?

Many years ago I decided to try therapy because I was dealing with depression due to the break-up of a long-term relationship. My therapist having known that I felt down for an extended period said “you may feel depressed, but chances are you’re just really angry.” She went on to explain that depression and anger are closely tied together. Although depression can be a clinical diagnosis that requires professional care, it may also be caused by unexpressed anger or resentment towards somebody or something.

She was right, I had been building up resentment towards life for shattering my dreams, killing the storybook ending, and putting out my fire. I had let it build up with no way of expressing it or letting it out which led to a deep emotional pain.

I have since learned that there are healthy ways to express anger so that it doesn’t stew or lead to ongoing feelings of paralysis.

We all have troubling times and our emotions may range from discouragement to depression, or from frustration to feeling so angry that we lash out at those we love or get physically violent.

If you’ve been consistent with your spiritual practice, chances are these episodes will happen less or perhaps not as intense as they once were. But the truth is, life can be a rollercoaster and we have no choice but to go on the ride. It is how we deal with and sit through that ride that creates our life experience.

Studies have shown that ongoing, unresolved anger may lead to certain diseases such as heart attack, stroke, or cancer. There is a powerful link between stressful emotions and our physical health. But the good news is that it’s not too late to do something proactive especially if you’ve been dealing with *extreme anxiety, depression, or anger.

Sometimes when we’re in this state, we don’t feel like doing anything at all. But if you can muster up the energy, here are some helpful actions that you can take to go deeper and uncover these heavy emotions once and for all. When we can gain an understanding and become conscious of their existence, we come to realize that underneath all of it is our natural state of joy, bliss, relaxation, balance, unconditional love, and gratitude.

Exercise – One of the best ways to expel anger is to push yourself through an exercise routine. Running or cardio training is particularly effective at clearing the mind and eliminating negative self-talk. Exercise of any type releases feel-good endorphins and helps us to feel better.

Punch a Pillow – Sometimes anger needs to be expressed and we don’t always have an outlet. The best way to let out the built up tension is by punching a pillow over and over again while screaming at the top of your lungs. What may seem extreme at first, you’ll find will dissipate the anger leaving you feeling more relaxed and calm afterwards.

Breath Practice – I teach both group class and one-on-one transformational breath sessions and along with the breath work, we always let out a few screams during each session too. Deep breathing is the quickest and most effective way to access stifled emotions and pain. It opens the channels for you to heal on all levels of body, mind, and spirit and makes way to feelings of euphoria and bliss.

Meditation – Sometimes meditation can feel agonizing for those suffering from depression or anger because our mind and ego gets in the way. With practice, we can learn to de-clutter our minds and release pent up emotions. Combining breath work with meditation is the ideal combination.

Yoga – Yoga is the perfect mix of physical activity and mindfulness. Find a class that resonates with you and one that you enjoy. Like any spiritual practice, yoga will help to uncover blocks, fears, and unresolved emotion that may have been lingering for years.

Karate – Another great physical activity that helps to release anger is Karate. The combination of physical force and mental focus gets you out of your head and into your center, the core of who you are.

Boxing – While I am not a huge advocate of fighting, a healthy boxing practice, even solo with a bag is an awesome way to expel built up emotion along with giving you a great workout.

Dancing – Movement of any kind often helps with anger. Dancing to your favorite music playing loudly in the background may be just the thing you’ve been needing. Lose yourself in the music and dance like nobody is watching. Research a group called Ecstatic Dance in your area or plan a night out with friends.

Remove Yourself – Sometimes we will need to make physical changes such as leaving an abusive relationship with somebody who pisses us off regularly.  Or perhaps seeking out a new job that has a more positive environment may be just the thing you need to do. Know that you are never stuck in a situation and that forward movement is possible. You just need to take the first steps.

*Make sure to speak with your doctor if you’ve been experiencing ongoing feelings of extreme depression, anger, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Coach Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

No More Resolution Let-Downs!

No More Resolution Let-Downs!

Every one of us has made new year’s resolutions at some point in our lives. Many of us have kept them but all too often, let’s face it, they’re left behind somewhere by February or March because we’re too busy and have lost the incentive to follow through.

But what’s really going on below the surface is that our subconscious mind is sabotaging our success. Whether we want to lose 10 pounds, earn more money, spend less, or meet the mate of our dreams, what we desire in our conscious minds means very little if our subconscious is running the show.

We get messages early on in our lives about important topics such as money, love, and sex for example. We’re taught by our parents and other influential adults how to navigate these areas of our life. We learn by example and what we see and hear sets up these beliefs at an early age. It ends up that no matter what we want on the outside as grown-ups, these often-limiting attitudes take over causing continual broken dreams and disappointments.

So, how can we stop this from happening once and for all? How can we finally keep our resolutions instead of hitting the wall yet again and feeling the ongoing sense of failure and frustration?

Get to the Bottom of it – For each resolution, make a list of the top 5 negative thoughts that come to mind. For example, if you’d like to earn and save more money, journal about your feelings on the topic such as “if I make additional income, I’ll have to work harder and never see my friends” or “if I budget, then I’ll constantly be stressed and anxious and not enjoy my life.” Whatever comes up, it is time to get it out and into the open for healing. Write down the contradictory feelings on each topic that are getting in the way.

Seek Help – Once you’ve uncovered your subconscious beliefs that are blocking your forward movement, seek an expert who can help. Find a therapist, hypnotist, healer, or coach who can help you move through these old, unhealthy patterns in order to let them go once and for all. Change is possible! Make this the year that you finally break free.

Make a Plan – If you set goals for the new year then you must also make a plan. Nothing will get accomplished if you just wish for it. It doesn’t need to be an overwhelming process but you must work backwards from your long-term goal or resolution, breaking it up into smaller and more achievable steps. Start with the outcome you’d like in one year and then create actions for the month, week, and each day in order to succeed.

Be Accountable – Make sure to check in regularly. How far are you coming along with your goals? Find somebody who you can be accountable to, perhaps an accountability partner who is also looking to keep their resolutions. Set up regular weekly or monthly meetings and do it as a team. If you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, go back and re-evaluate and perhaps set more attainable steps for you to take.

Celebrate Your Wins – Take time to celebrate your accomplishments! Too many times we sail through our successes without truly acknowledging and appreciating them. When we have big goals it’s easy to overlook the small wins along the way. Give thanks, soak in the gratitude, and be more present to enjoy even the smallest of victories.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

Breathe – Like Your Life Depends on it!

Breathe – Like Your Life Depends on it!

We all have one thing in common. We breathe an average of 23,400 times per day. But when was the last time you really paid attention to your breath? Most of us take breathing for granted and underestimate its ability to heal us on numerous levels.

I recently adopted a breathing practice called Pranayama. While I have certainly done various forms of breath work in the past, nothing has been as transformative as this! Thanks to a friend who dragged me along to a class, I was hooked immediately. From my very first session, I noticed an intense shift in my emotional and spiritual world. So much so that I have committed to doing it daily and am now sharing it with clients and friends.

Pranayama breath comes from the Yoga tradition and the version I enjoy is simply breathing in through the mouth, into the diaphragm and then the chest and out again through the mouth. It is done in a rhythmic motion of three breaths. Into the diaphragm, into the chest and out through the mouth.

At first, it feels like hard work. Often people feel lightheaded or tingly especially in the hands and arms along with experiencing restriction or mild pain in certain areas of their body. But after a while your breathing takes on a mind of its own. You begin to relax more deeply and many people disappear into a deep meditative state.

What I love about this breathing technique is that it combines both an active participation along with a surrendered relaxation which is great for those people who have a challenge sitting still in a regular meditation practice.

Lie down and get comfortable, light a candle, use essential oils and choose your favorite music. Begin with 5-10 minutes per day and work your way up to a 30 to 40-minute practice which combines 20-30 minutes of deep, powerful breathing followed by slower nostril breaths for approximately 10 minutes.

This practice will often bring up intense emotions. It will help rid your body of physical blocks along with emotional and spiritual ones too. It’s not uncommon to have bursts of crying, laughter, or anger during your sessions which are all signs of releasing toxic or stored up emotions that we hold onto without even realizing. I have also felt the energy points in my body known as chakras spinning, throbbing, and opening. I often find myself sweating, extremely hungry, and filled with an overwhelming joy and sense of gratitude afterwards. It is like nothing I’ve experienced before.

Breathing techniques like this have been used for people in recovery from alcohol and drugs as well as for those dealing with illness such as cancer.

Here are just a few of the numerous benefits of doing Pranayama breathing:

  • Oxygen – Feeding our cells oxygen is vital to creating a healthy body. Oxygen assists our system in detoxing and fighting off potential cancer cells. It also creates a more alkaline environment off-setting acidity which has been linked to numerous illnesses.
  • Reduced Stress, Anxiety and Depression – Studies have shown that those who participate in regular breathing sessions have a lower incidence of anxiety and depression along with experiencing less reaction to stressful situations.
  • Lower/Stabilized Blood Pressure – Increased oxygen lowers blood pressure and may even lower blood sugar levels as well.
  • Increased Energy Levels – Often people report an increase in overall physical stamina after participating in an extended breath session. Once again, oxygen feeds our cells and in turn, creates ATP which is essential for energy.
  • Muscle Relaxation – More oxygen means more blood flow to our muscles which assists in a quicker recovery and often a speedier healing time for those dealing with injury, post-surgery, or for athletes with lactic acid buildup.
  • Emotional Healing – A regular breath work practice can literally unblock stored up emotions, fears, and traumas from our body often leaving us feeling euphoric.
  • Spiritual Healing – Yogis have known for thousands of years that regular deep breathing can literally open up blocked chakras or energy points within our body helping us to live with more balance, joy, and freedom.

If you’ve been struggling to find a regular spiritual practice and you’ve tried numerous things that don’t resonate, I highly recommend that you explore Pranayama breathing.

To get started, research local breathing classes in your area. Sometimes joining a group can make it more enjoyable. Find a skilled teacher along with a powerful soundtrack, and you too can have a life-changing experience.

I can’t emphasize enough just how powerful this practice can be. Breathe like your life depends on it because in all honesty, it does!

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles. http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!

 

Attention Men! Feeling Over the Hill? Read This Before You Give Up.

Attention Men! Feeling Over the Hill? Read This Before You Give Up.

A lot of men begin to accept that once they hit 40, things will go downhill. Why is it that we have become so reluctant to challenge these beliefs?

Part of my mission as a health and wellness advocate who also happens to be approaching 50, is to re-write this story so that all of us can begin to embrace aging with a knowing that we can do it more youthfully than ever before.

For men who want to remain fit and energetic into their later years without the typical decline, here are some important factors to consider along the way.

Intermittent Fasting – The quickest and most effective way to get lean and increase vitality is to incorporate intermittent fasting 3-4 days per week. Consume your last meal at 7pm and don’t eat again until 1-2pm the following day. You may have black coffee, tea, and unlimited water but zero calories during the 18-hour window period. Do your cardio exercise on the fasting morning for extra results and fast every second day to make it more manageable. The benefits will include fat loss, increased lean muscle, improved sleep and stamina, and more clarity and focus, especially during the morning of your fasting period. It kick-starts your metabolism like nothing else and works to balance hormones, regulate blood sugar, and much more.

Testosterone – As men age, our testosterone levels tend to drop and our estrogen also known as estradiol may increase. Low testosterone leads to a decrease in muscle mass and may have negative long-term effects on our heart and other organs along with causing fatigue, depression, poor sleep quality, and cognitive decline. High estrogen may be a contributing factor to heart disease and cancer along with a more feminine appearance including increased body fat in the chest and stomach area. Speak with an endocrinologist or anti-aging doctor about doing a full hormone panel and then consider bio-identical hormones if necessary.

High Repetition Resistance Training – Regardless of our age, it is vital to do some resistance and weight bearing exercises if we want to build stronger muscles and bones. As we get older, higher repetitions with a lower weight works better to not only build lean muscle, but also to protect our ligaments and joints. Try incorporating 20-25 repetitions on your first set and then while using the same weight, do 2 more sets until burnout. Perform resistance training at least 3 days per week and ensure that you work every muscle group at least once per week.

Supplements – To help reduce stress and improve overall energy, consider taking adaptogenic herbs. Rhodiola, Maca, Ashwaganda, and Ginseng work to lower the stress hormone called Cortisol while supporting the adrenal glands and increasing overall energy and libido. Choose one to start and alternate every few months between them. Also try Yohimbe HCL which is an ancient bark from South Africa that has similar effects while also targeting fat burning in the lower abdomen and back area.

Spiritual Practice – Now more than ever, men need to slow down. We pressure ourselves with financial matters, relationship issues, and the drive to get ahead making it imperative to take a break and get in touch with our spiritual side. This is done by creating a daily practice that we will commit to. Whether it be yoga, breath work, meditation, or chanting, it must be consistent to be effective. The irony is that we’ll actually get more done with less work when we can fine-tune our intuition and connect deeply with our spirit and our higher calling.

As men, we owe it to ourselves to take the absolute best care of ourselves that we can. There is a shift happening and men are beginning to understand the importance of finding a balance in body, mind, and spirit.

Why not start today? Put yourself first and take pro-active measures to age more youthfully and vibrantly. If you do, you’ll open yourself up to more joy, energy, and enthusiasm, and you’ll begin to feel that your best years are still ahead, because guess what? They are!

*Always consult with your physician before beginning a new fasting, supplement, or exercise regimen, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions or if you are taking medication.

 

Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles http://www.JayBradleyLifestyle.com

Jay Runs a Regular Men’s Coaching Group for Men 40, 50, and 60. For More Information, Reach Out Via Email: jay@jaybradleylifestyle.com

 

He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!