I had a bad week. After an amazing birthday celebration, I sank low and found myself feeling sad and melancholy with a heavy heart. The feelings have lasted for days during which time I began to beat myself up for wasting time. I started to feel victimized by my mood and frustrated that I didn’t have the energy to get out there and “make things happen.”
This pattern started when I was very young. I was a sick kid and I often felt depressed. I desperately wanted to feel better! I became curious at a young age about how the Body, Mind and Spirit came together to create our overall experience. You name it I’ve tried it, read it, or done it with my continual focus on getting well.
Fast-forward decades later, and while I feel so much better, I still struggle. I get down more times then I’d like to admit and although my physical body has been healthy, I still get tired at times. This has led to a repetitive pattern of thoughts like “what am I doing wrong?” “After all this effort, why do I still feel bad?”
Perhaps you can relate. It seems like so many people are out there talking about their successes, their breakthroughs and their wins and very few are open enough to share what really goes on just below the surface; those feelings of fragility, insecurity, and fear.
How many of you have an underlying problem that never goes away? How many feel that you are broken in some way and need to be fixed? Perhaps it’s a physical ailment that returns under stressful conditions or a constant struggle to provide a good income doing what you love, or a generalized anxiety and depression? Whatever the so-called problem, maybe it is time to embrace it rather than chase it away. Perhaps we can make it our friend rather than something we resist with all our force.
There are important lessons to learn through our pain and struggle. It may often seem that life offers us unexpected and sometimes undesirable experiences. No matter how positive we are, how many warrior weekends we’ve attended or the number of spiritual books we’ve read, sometimes shit happens. And guess what? It doesn’t mean that there we are faulty or that we’ve made bad choices.
Begin paying special attention to those things that aren’t working for you, those seemingly negative thoughts and patterns that you want so badly to disappear. Talk to them. Befriend them. Listen. Forgive. Offer them unconditional love. Treat them as if you would a desperate friend in need. They are parts of you just as much as the awesome award you recently won, the marathon you completed, or the dream home that you live in.
Wellness, health, and life are all about balance. With the good will come some bad. With the ups comes downs. When we work so hard to resist, avoid, and block the negative, we end up beating ourselves up and draining our very life source. We swim upstream rather than going with the flow. We go outward rather than inward where the true acceptance lies.
Today, love and accept yourself unconditionally no matter where you are. Embrace the pain and begin checking in to see what it’s trying to tell you. Be gentle with yourself and know that there is nowhere you need to be other than right here, right now. Be okay drudging through the mud. Begin making self-love, self-acceptance, and life-acceptance a regular part of your day, week, month and ultimately, your life.
Jay Bradley is a Youthful Aging, Wellness & Lifestyle Expert Living in Los Angeles
He is the Best-Selling Author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger & Feel Better!
As a certified wellness coach CWC I’ve worked with people all over the world to help them achieve a healthier and happier balance between their body, mind, and spirit. My goal is to dig in, find out where they’re off balance, and then session by session, work to assist my clients in regaining and rediscovering a new way of living that better fits their goals.
Many of them want to lose weight, increase physical energy, or look and feel younger. While all of these are important, we come to realize as we work together that it is what’s inside that counts the most. We learn, as a team, that true balance, happiness, and wellness is ALWAYS an inside job.
If we look at quantum physics and the study of matter, we know that everything in life including the computer or phone that you’re reading this on, is in fact, energy. In essence all “things” are simply molecules bouncing around.
When we look at our physical body and our level of health for example, these too are made up of energy. The question then becomes, what gets our energy moving in a positive direction? The answer is our thoughts and emotions. Thoughts are the basis of everything that we desire. Past thoughts have created the life that we are living today and if we want to know where we’ll be in a week, month, or year from now, we need only look at today’s thoughts and inner feelings. By doing this we’ll know without much doubt what is to come.
All experiences in our present moment can be pinpointed to thoughts and beliefs that we had a week, month, or years ago. So in order to make changes in our life and improve our health, we must change our self-defeating thoughts. When we take more control and become the change that we want to see from the inside out, it’s a very empowering way to live.
This can also be one of the most challenging aspects of our journey. Many of our thoughts and beliefs are habitual and unconscious and it can be difficult to change the ones that have been with us since childhood…difficult but not impossible.
If we are dealing with a health crisis it can take even more strength and discipline to tap into that positive vibration of total healing within us. But the more we begin to catch our negative or self-defeating patterns, fears, and negative dialogue and then immediately changing them into positives, the quicker we experience shifts for the better.
Creating a morning practice that involves journaling, meditation, quiet reflection, and reading uplifting books is the beginning of putting your inner self first. When we carve out this time we begin to make our emotional and spiritual life a priority and this is where the magic begins. When we turn inward and pay attention to that quiet voice of intuition within us and we begin to get conscious of our thoughts, the right people, circumstances, and opportunities begin to show up almost effortlessly and our health often begins to improve. The ideal healer, doctor, coach, or specialist will appear with synchronicity to help speed the process along.
As I have learned in my life and through the experiences of my clients, ANYTHING is possible and change IS attainable once we begin to do the inner work of releasing negativity, fear, and limiting thoughts. When we work from the inside out and then the outside in, we have a recipe for true success in all areas. It doesn’t always happen over night but it is quite possibly the most important priority that we will ever make.
Jay Bradley is an Anti-Aging, Wellness, and Lifestyle Coach living in Los Angeles.
He is the author of LIVE LOOK FEEL, The 12-Week Guide to Live Longer, Look Younger, and Feel Better!